Smarter Than the Average Pet
by SheerCuriosity03
Summary: When two girls discover the wonders of owning a pet, they bite off way more than they can chew. With new pets Jinx, Knight, Sunny, Luna, Cookie, Sugar, Stitch, Birdie, Sushi, and Smartass, things might get a little bit out of hand. ItachiXOC HidanXOC
1. Chapter 1

**HELLO PEOPLES! This is not SheerCuriosity, just so you know. I AM BALOOGA THE NARUTARD! AKA: Sheer's bestest friend in the whole wide world! Lol. Sorry, Sheer isn't here at the moment, she's off doing whatever it is she does. :P**

**Anyway, this is something me and her wrote together. (Mostly me :P) Yes I know, "Akatsuki turn into animals and come into our universe somehow, then they fall madly in love with their owners when they turn back into humans... Somehow." That is not the most original thing in the world, but it is always easier to start with the cliches.**

**Blah, blah, blah: Auther's note.  
><strong>Blah, blah, blah: Normal talking

_Blah, blah, blah: Akatsuki animals talking._

_**Blah, blah, blah: Black Zetsu talking **_**(Cuz he's so special. :P)**

**Disclaimer: SheerCuriosity owns not Naruto. Neither do I.**

**I HOPE YOU ENJOY!**

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><p>"Hey, Guess what!" A red haired teenager was running down the street, trying to catch up to her friend who was about a half a block away. "HEY! Hey, Maria! Are you listening to me!" She sped up, straining her legs to go just a bit faster. The friend she was yelling to seemed to be going faster as the other began to catch up. Though she seemed untinerested, she turned around to agknowlage her so called "best friend".<p>

"Yes Jasmine?" She questioned, still keeping her pace from before, but moving backwards instead. Jasmine grinned from ear to ear.

"Guess! Come on, do it!" Maria sighed.

"You know I hate guessing." The red head continued to smile, nothing seeming to ruin her good mood.

"My mom finally agreed to let me get a pet! And you know what else?" She seemed to be jumping on the balls of her feet. It made her look like a small child who needs to pee.

"No, but I'm pretty sure you're gonna tell me anyway." Maria resisted the urge to face palm. Jasmine was always so imature.

"You're gonna come with me to the adoption thingy!" Jasmine was practically oozing with happiness.

"Sounds like fun." Maria replied sarcastically. "When are we leaving?"

"Right now!"

Jasmine and Maria were standing in front of a wall. On that wall there were verious cages with verious types of animals. They have been at the adoption center for about thirty minutes, just looking.

"Hi there, girls~! My name is Trisha! You seem to be needing some assistance!" A cheery voice said from behind the two. They both whipped around to see a (in Maria's case) a thirty year old blonde women wearing too much make-up and trying to be thirthteen again.

"We're just looking. We don't need your help." Maria said coldly, not the type to like these types of people.

"On the contrary," Jasmine said, faking a british accent, "We want to be pointed to the most uniqe animals here... And, please make sure they aren't poisonus." The woman giggled.

"Perfect! We just got in some very interesting specimens this morining." She said, mimicking Jasmine. She lead the way toward the back of the building. There were a couple of very large rooms with glass walls so that people may look at the animals inside. Almost all were empty but one in the corner had about ten very different looking animals. As they got closer, loud hisses and barks could be heard through the glass. Most of them coming from a silvery white dog and a cat with strange markings on its fur.

"Why do you keep them all in the same place?" Maria asked. "Shouldn't they be eating each other?" Trisha smiled.

"We found them all in the same place. And we tried to seperate them. They just got louder." She said just before a bark louder than the ones from before sounded from a brown, almost orange, dog. The two animals that were fighting imediatly stopped their bickering and turned their attention to him. "He's the reason why. Some type of alpha dog, or something."

"Cool! I want one!" Jasmine said childishly. "Can we go in there?"  
>Trisha's painted smile fadded a bit<p>

"Umm..im not sure that a good idea. One of those dog's almost bit off uh almost... Well let's just say a man who works here is... not much of a man anymore..."

"It tried to eat someone's balls!"

'Ahhh gotta love this chick' Maria smiled to herself. Jasmine didnt seem to notice Tresha's face coloring and contuied her questions. "Did the dog get a bite? Does that guy have one less man part? Did he cry?"The blonde women flushed and changed the subject

"So you wanted to see those animals? Sure go on ahead!"

"Great googley mooglely! Yay!" Jasmine screamed already running to the starnge bunch of animals.

"And now you see what I deal with." Maria sighed, following her energetic friend into the glass room. Upon walking in, Maria wished she would have entered a few seconds later. Standing in the middle of the strange animal group, Jasmine asked them her questions.

"Okay! Which one of you ate the man's balls? Who had a taste of man parts? Who's most likely gonna get nuetered?" At the last question, the silver shaded dog let out a low whine. The red head spun to the dog grinning. "Awww so your the one that had a taste of a man's twins? Dont worry old looking puppy i'll make sure you balls aren't tinkred with!"

"Its not like he'll need them for anything" Maria smirked

"He is a man puppy!" Jasmine screamed sticking her tounge out. "He's gonna need them to do sex with a girl!" Maria only shook her head, ignoring the white dog's growling. She went and picked up the blueish cat, scratching behind her ear.

"Poor kitten. The only girl with these beasts." Jasmine looked at the others and laughed.

"Dude I see a guy dog verson of you!" She pointed to the conner of the room, where a lone black wolf like dog layed watching them. Maria was tempted to throw the cat a her friend but just rolled her eyes.

"Cute." She said sracastically. "So who are we adpoting?"

"I cant decide!" Before she could complain anymore, the ringing of a phone went off, sending vibrations through Jasmine's pants. Yanking her phone out of her pocket, she asked the caller. "Yo Yo homedog how's it going in the hood?"

"Where'd you go, Crazy?" Jasmine smiled.

"Oh hi to you too mom!"

"Yeah so where are you?"

"In the back looking at pets with my bestie buddy in this world~!"

"Oh alright bye." She wasn't able to reply because her mom had already hung up. She pouted.

"Well, I love you too mom." Maria chuckled and looked around at the other animals. She could easily take all of these animals home, with her parents always elsewhere and her brothers never home. She wanted to see wich ones she would want. She tried to stay completly clear of all of the more hyper looking ones, and was easily drawn to the black one in the corner. When Maria aproached him, he did little to get away, only a threatening growl. The raven haired teen smirked. 'Mine.' She made a mental note to take this one for herself. She turned around when she heard Jasmine's mother.

"You can not have all of these!" The red head whined.

"Please~! I can't chose! I like all of them!" Maria decided to speak up, then.

"There's ten of them, in all." She said moving away from the dog. "We could each get five. We could even have playdates and stuff." She really wanted to see Jasmine happy. When she wasn't happy, that made Maria even more of a Debbie Downer. Jasmine gasped and clasped her hands in front of her chest in a begging position.

"Please, please, please~! I promise to take care of them!" Her also red haired mother sighed and dragged her hand down her face.

"I guess. It's the least I can do, since you're gonna be alone next month." She sighed again and looked pointedly at her daughter. "But if I see one pee stain on my carpet..." She threatned.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Death is upon me." The red head said, waving her hand. "Thank you soo much~!" She ran to go look at more animals an pointed at the dog. "You! My fellow Dick-muncher, will be coming with me!" She turned to the cat that it was fighting with before. The markings on his fur looking almost like stiches. "And because I like a challenge, Mr. Stich, you will be staying with me also." Maria snorted.

"I think it would be best to seperate them..." She said eyeing the two animals that Jasmine has chosen.

"Pish-posh. These are my favorite because they remind me of us when we first met." She reached for the dog and scratched behind his ear. His leg invoulentaraly jumped under his body and he made the cutest noise in the world. Jasmine squealed. "Aww. He's so adorable!" The dog growled and snapped at her hand. "Dick-Munch. Yeah. Dick-munch. That will be your name!" Her mother scowled.

"Language." She said sternly. The strangely marked cat directed a meow at the silver dog, which in turn, growled. Jasmine laughed.

"Sure mom." She looked down when she heard a small yipping at her feet. There, she saw a cute little black dog with a brownish face jumping at her legs. She bent over and patted his head. "Aww, who's a good boy!" She asked, rubbing his face with both hands. At that comment, the yipping got louder and more excited. She giggled as the dog lapped at her cheek. "Mine." She told Maria, claiming dibs on the entergetic dog.

"You can have him. Too loud for my liking." The raven haired teen said, a little disturbed at how anyone would want a dog like that. 'Then again, it is Jasmine.' Maria thought to herself. "Well I'm keeping this one." She said looking at the blue cat in her arms. Jasmine grinned and pointed to the lone black dog.

"What about emo puppy, over there? He's not a ball eater or phyco killer so he's perfect, right?" Maria smirked at the dog. Walking over, she crouched in front of him, ignoring the low growl at the closeness.

"Huh... you're a cute fellow." She muttered reaching to pet him, almost getting her hand bitten off when the dog snapped his jaws at her.

"Ooh. Someone's feisty!" Jasmine said from behind her. Maria glared and grabbed the dog's ear, twisting it to the side a bit, causing a strained whimper forced from the animal.

"Now, let's see who's boss." Maria smiled, deciding that he would definetly be coming with her. Turning to the growl behind her, she saw the orange colored dog bearing his teeth at her. Rollong her eyes she flicked his nose. "Dude, I'll take this one too. He'll be fun to wrestle with."

"Perfect dogs for you buddy!" Jasmine laughes. "Not as awesome as mister Dick munch, but good enough." She turned around, looking for her next victim and grinned when she saw a beautiful blond cat sitting next to a redish one. She pointed at it. "I want her!" She said cheerily. The cat hissed at her. She walked up to it and picked "her" up. She dropped it almost imediatly after, thanking whatever gods that cats land on their feet. "That... Was not a girl." The cat hissed again. "Sorry, little cat! I honestly didn't mean to grab your no no's!" Sera laughed.

"I strongly believe you did." Jasmine whipped around to look at her best friend with wide eyes.

"Shut up!" She blushed. "You could take this one, if you want." The red head huffed.

"Why would I want him? You terrerized him by groping his "no no's". Nobody wants a tainted cat." Maria half glared. Jasmine pouted and looked down at the sulking cat.

"I don't want anything to be awkward between us." She said pointedly. She turned to look for her fifth and final pet. Her eyes landed on a half black, half white cat sitting in a corner. It amazed Jasmine that the colors split right in the middle. Even his nose was pink and black. She walked to him, picked him up calmly and silently, and looked him in the eyes. She suddenly broke into a huge grin. "Cookie!" She practically screamed at the top of her lungs. The cat flinched and Maria snorted.

"Don't blow his ear drums." She said as she looked at the two remaining cats, the red one, and one that was a sickly blue color with markings that looked like gills under his eyes. "Well I guess I get these two. At least they aren't overly hyper, like most of yours." Jasmine pouted and huffed.

"Because I enjoy a pet with personality." She turned to her mom. "We're ready! Let's buy these freaks of nature!" The older red head laughed and nodded.

"Sure." She turned to her daughter's friend. "Maria, I could pay for your pets if you would be able to pay me back." Sera smiled.

"Thank you, I'll pay you once we get to my house." With that, they paid, packed up the animals in carriers and placed them in the back of Jasmine's mom's SUV.

As Jasmine's mom drove to Maria's house, the girls chatted in the backseats.

"So what are you gonna name you pets?" The raven haired girl questioned.

"I already named the one with the freaky marks Stitch, and the black and white one Cookie!" Jasmine grinned, "and since I can't name the old looking one dick munch!-"

"Language!"

"- I shall name him Smartass!" Jasmine's mom sighed and shook her head, muttering under her breath. "better than the first one." Her daughter gave a cheeky grin, feeling victorious.

"How about the one you scarred?" Maria teased. The red head stuck her tongue out.

"I don't know". Her friend looked out the window, quiet for a moment before speaking.

"How about Birdie? I'm fairly sure you'll be dropping or throwing him so he'll wish he was a bird". Fully knowing how weird Jasmine would feel around the cat after accidently groping it. "You can name that ball of energy Sugar" Maria suggested after another moment. Her friend grinned, nodding like head banging music was playing

"I like it!" She looked behind them at the caged animals. "So what are you gonna name that girl cat?" Maria smirked.

"Don't wanna check to make sure?" she teased. Before her red head friend could say something or slap her, she answered her previous question. "I'll name her Luna... and that alpha dog will be sunny. They seem to like each other but they're opposites" She watched how the rusted colored dog looked at all the others, letting a low growl of command out every now and then, sometimes nudging the girl cat with his nose.

"How about that emo looking dog?" Jasmine asked wondering what you could name a dog like that. Maria turned in her seat and tilted her head to the right, staring at the pitch black colored dog.

"Knight" she answered thinking of his dark fur and strong cold aura.

"Night?"

"No with a 'K'. Like a knight in shinning armor." Maria corrected her, staring back at the unblinking canine.

"Uhhh okay..ya werido" Jasmine laughed. "So what about the red one and the sick looking one."

"Jinx and...Sushi" Maria laughed quitely to herself. Jasmine's mom made a face in the mirror.

"So Birdie, Smartass, Sushi, Stitch, Luna, Sugar, Cookie, Jinx, Knight and Sunny?" She asked with a weird look. When the girls smiled and nodded, looking quite determined, she just silently questioned their sanity and drove into Maria's drive way.

The raven haired girl got out to unlock the doors and came back with the money she owed. Jasmine helped her put the cages inside and arranged her pets in the back seat, while she got in front.

"Forward mother! To home we go!"

_"Smartass? Did the fucking bitch just name me Smartass?" _Hidan barked loudly, causing Jasmine to, not so politely, tell him to shut up. He scowled. Well, about as much as a dog _can_ scowl. _"Who names a pet 'Smartass'?"_ He sulked in the corner of his cage.

_"I think it suits you."_ Kakuzu said, licking his furry paw. Hidan replied with a loud growl. Deidara got their attention by meowing.

_"We should stop worrying about stupid names and start trying to figure out how we ended up like this, un!"_ He looked at the others.

_"Tobi agrees with sempai!"_ Tobi barked entergeticly. _"Tobi wants to know why he's a puppy!"_ Zetsu sighed.

_**"I just want to know where we are and why this crazy girl had to be the one to adopt us."**_ Black Zetsu said, annoyed. _"She's not really that bad." _The white side commented.

_"You've got a point. This place is weird, un."_ The blond cat said, looking around the car. _"What type of thing are we in anyway?"_

_"Tobi thinks it's a monster!"_ The dog whinned. Jasmine turned around and looked at the crying dog. She smiled and opened the cage, pulling out the one she calls "Sugar".

"Don't worry, little cutie. We are almost at my house." She said, pulling him onto her lap and scratching behind his ear. Tobi licked her hand.

_"Tobi is a good boy!"_ He yipped happily. Deidara hissed.

_"Why does he get to be let out, hm?"_ Kakuzu chuckled.

_"I think she's choosing favorites."_ Before the blond could reply with anything, Autumn let out a loud squack of excitement.

"Welcome home, pets!" She yelled, hopping out of the car to grab the carriers. Tobi jumped out of the car behind her, following her around the van until her and her mom each had two carriers. Her mother put down one of them to unlock the door. Once inside, all of the boxes where on the floor and Jasmine opened them one by one. "Feel free to explore! But if I find one "present" anywhere on this floor, say goodbye to your little domestic animal lives." She pointed a glare at each pet and shooed them away.

The five animals slowly made their way deeper into the house. Zetsu found a large potted plant on the floor and made himself comfortable behind it. Diedara went around looking for clay, but soon settled for pawing at some Play-Doh that was left on the couch. Kakuzu jumped on the counter when he saw a wallet near the sink. Tobi stayed near Autumn, following her up stairs to her room. And because Hidan had nothing better to do, he too, followed the red head.

When Jasmine noticed that two puppies were behind her, she threw them a huge grin.

"Hey there! You guys don't wanna hang out with your friends?" She picked them up and heard a growl of protest from Smart Ass and a happy yip from Sugar. She smiled. "Come on, let's go to my room." She arranged them under each arm. "I could show you where you're gonna sleep!" The red head sprinted up the stairs and into her room. She threw the dogs onto the bed and watched as they bounced a couple of times before they settled. Hidan growled.

_"Thats fucking animal abuse!"_ He barked. Jasmine chuckled and patted his head.

"You're almost as much of a cutie as Sugar!" She sat on the bed and turned on the tv. She started flipping through channels. 'Spongebob, flip, Hannah Montana, flip, some anime I've never seen in my life, fli-' Hidan and tobi barked really loudly.

_"What the hell! Turn it back!"_ She turned to look at the panicking canines that seemed to be getting really mad at the television. Jasmine changed the channel back to the program that was on before.

There was an anime on that the dogs seemed engrossed in. On the screen was a large blue looking man standing next to a guy with long black hair. The red head sighed.

"What's so great about Naruto?" She fell back on the bed. "Ninja don't wear orange unless they are trying to hide in an army of construction workers." The two dogs jumped from the bed and walked out the open door, fully intending on informing the others of their new discovery.

_"Kisame was on the box?"_ Deidara was suprised. All of the animal-turned Akatsuki members were sitting on the couch. Jasmine's mother was in the kitchen making dinner, silently watching her new pets seemingly have a conversation.

_"Yeah! Fucking Itachi was too!"_ He nodded to the tv that was in front of the sofa. _"It was on a box like that."_ The blond watched Tobi nod in agreement.

_"Okay. But we should just wait until we get in contact with Leader-sama, un."_ His stomach growled and he sighed. _"We might as well just act like the animals we are, yeah. Im starving."_ He jumped off the sofa and walked into the kitchen. He looked up at the cooking woman by the stove and directed a loud meow towards her. The red head looked down at the cat and smiled. She ran a hand down his back.

"Are you hungery, little guy?" Deidara purred and nudged into the woman's hand. "Jasmine!" She yelled loudly all of the sudden, causing the cat to jump a little. "Get your ass down here and feed your pests!" She smiled at the feline again and went back to cooking.

"Okay mom!" Jasmine yelled while running down the stairs. "Where did you put the bags of food?" She instinctively went to the laundry room, connected to the garage.

"I think i dropped them over there." Her mother pointed to the other side of the room with the wooden soon she was using to stir hamburger helper. Jasmine nodded and walked to the counter. She grabbed two large bowls and went to the back door where the animal food was. she quickly filled each one, one with dog food, one with cat food, and went to the livingroom.

"Come and get some num nums!" She shouted as she placed the bowls on the floor in front of the television. "Eat up, kiddies. 'Cause if you don't, you'll die!" She faked a gasp and went to sit on the couch.

"Hey Jazzy, have you heard from your sister today?" Jasmine's mother asked as she fixed two bowls of deliciousness. The younger red head frowed at pet name but nodded anyway.

"Yup. This morning, Rey told me that she was working 'til nine." She flipped on the tv and decided to put back on the anime she was watching earlier. Her mom grabbed the two bowls and walked into the livingroom, placing them both on the coffee table.

"Okay." She sat down next to Jasmine and made herself comfortable. She eyed the television screen and turned to her daughter. "What's this?"

"Iv'e never seen it until now. It's called 'Naruto'. I was flipping through the channels in my room with Smartass and Sugar and they seemed to really like it." She took a bite of food and continued without swollowing. "I watched it a little more after they came down here. It's interesting in a weird sort of way." She finished the food in her mouth and nodded to herself. "I like it." Jasmine's mother pondered on weather or not she should comment on her child's lack of manners but soon decided against it.

"So what's it about?"

"A ninja and his shenanigans as a demon container or something." She shrugged. "I looked it up a while ago, but you know how short my memory span can be sometimes." Meanwhile the "pets" sat in front of the entertainment center, stareing at the dry food that was placed in front of them.

_"We're supose to eat this stuff?"_ Hidan sniffed the brown chunks of disgustingness and cringed. _"It smells like ass!"_ Zetsu sniffed at the cat food.

_**"Smells like meat."**_Black side said flatly. He moved forward to take a bite and perked up a bit. _"Tastes like it too."_ White side said. _"Good enough for me." _Both said at the same time and began eating. Deidara's stomach growled and he sighed.

_"It's better than nothing, un" _He moved to sit next to Zetsu and ate only as much as he needed. The rest started to eat without protest. Hidan, however, decided to go on strike.

_"I am not gonna eat this shit." _He said stubbornly. _"I'd rather fucking die." _He moved to the couch and barked, sucssefully getting both mother and daughter's attention.

"You aren't gonna get any human food." Jasmine said flicking the dog's nose. The silver coated canine growled but jumped onto the sofa next to the teenager. She smiled and pet his head. "You're such a cutie!" Jasmine turned to her mother. "Isn't he just the cutest!" The older red head sighed and nodded.

"Sure why not?"

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><p><strong>Eh...? Eh...? What do you think? Please review! It will make Sheer very, very happy! (Me too :P)<strong>

**R&R PLZ!**


	2. Chapter 2 Meetings and Favors

**OMG HI GUYS! THIS IS BALOOGA-CHAN AGAIN! But don't worry, Sheer is here today!**

**Sheer: Sorry for you readers having to deal with her last time..**

**Balooga: HEY IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO UPLOAD CHAPTERS! :P**

**Sheer: Actually I**** kinda did, its quite obvious.**

**Balooga: You're just jealous of my mad s-**

**Sheer: -Anyways I hope ya'll enjoy this chapter. Remember I don't own any of the "Naruto" Characters, only the OC ones. Laterz.**

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><p>"Agh this is so annoying!" Konan Hissed, clawing at the bars that kept her trapped. Pein sent her a look, warning her to behave herself. Maria looked at the animals over her shoulder and semi smiled.<p>

"You'll be let out of your cage in a bit." With that she went to check the mailbox for any letters. Sasori soft voice came out in a purr.

"Do you think she has any clue who we are?"

"I think she would have said something by now. She and her friend haven't refereed to us as nothing but ordinary pets." Pein thought out loud.

"She's coming back.." Kisame meowed his warning. Maria unlocked the doors and proceeded to move them inside before unlocking their cages.

"Please don't crap on the floor." Maria sighed. "We'll go for a walk with the others in a bit or so." With that she sat at the kithen table sorting through the mail, paying no mind to them. Kisame's ear twiched when he heard the sound of moving water and jumped onto the table in the living room holding a container with fish. Pein let himself lay a the door, making sure he could watch them all, while Konan seated herself beside him. Sosori feeling odd without his puppets, decided the strange doll in the corner was better than nothing and crawled under the chair it was sitting on. Itachi however simply sat on the sofa, watching the girl for any threats. None of them knew why they were here, but they were gonna find out soon.

Opening her eyes, Maria found herself half laying on the table. Rubbing her eyes she searched the room for her pets. All were in the same place as before, doing the same thing. Luna and Sunny were laying by the door, Jinx was hiding under the chair of her old puppet, Sushi was watching the fishes, and Knight was watching her like a jail guard. Looking at the clock, she saw the time was only eight-fifteen.

"Alright time to eat." she decided out loud going to get the dog food she had been hiding for whenever a stray to a liking to her street. "Its not that hard junk that almost every dog has to eat." she told them, filling up the bowls Jasmine and her had picked out. "Its stew flavored like any kind of meat. So I don't know what kind of pet food your always get". She watched them eat before deciding on calling Jasmine for that walk.

"Yes my bitchy friend?" Jasmine asked on the other end of the phone.

"Hey how about talking the pets for a walk?"

"At eight something at night? Seriously?"

"Eh sure why not." Maria started picking at her nails.

"YAY! MOM I'M GONNA GO ON A NIGHT WALK WITH MY BESTIE, MAYBE SEE SOME NIGHT-DUCKS!" Jasmine all but screamed into the phone.

Maria held the phone away from her ear. Taking that yell for a yes, she snapped her phone shut at looked to her pets making a face. "That chick is obsessed with ducks."

The girls meet at the center of their neighborhood where the park was. Jasmine gave a dramatic gasp when she saw the wraps on Maria's hand.

"What the hell happened?" Glaring at the growling black dog Maria replied

"Knight decided I'm his chew toy and bit into my hand when I put the leash on him, not very deep but it bleed...Left a damn stain on the carpet that I have to clean now." Her red-headed friend fought a smile

"You're the one who picked him." She poked the tip her friend's nose.

"Whatever." The black haired teen slapped the hand away. Grinning, Jasmine looked to her pets.

"Now i'm gonna let you all of your collars but if you try and runaway I will haunt you down with a taser!" Seeming satisfied, she unhooked them. All but Smart Ass. "You, my friend, will not be joining the others right now. Your on punishment for trying to eat Sugar." Maria rolled her eyes and unhooked her pets, also letting Jasmine's dog go.

"Let him go and play with the others, i'm not gonna be here this weekend so we wont get them together." Frowning Jasmine sat on a bench to interrogate her best friend.

The ten animals walked forward, taking in the new surroundings. They all decided to get comfortable under the rainbow colored slide.

_"There's something weird about this place, hm." _Deidara was the first to break the silence.

_"I see." _Pein said, looking around. _"Do any of you have any observations."_

_"I think they fucking know about us." _Hidan started. _"They have what Jasmine called a "tv show" about the life of the nine tails. The girl doesn't seem to know who we are, though." _

_"A tv show. Could you elaborate?" _The golden dog asked, interested in what the new term means.

_"There's a box. It seems to be electronic. I think it's entertainment for people around here."_ White Zetsu explained. _**"It's black, and it produces a moving picture that has different genres." **_Black side added.

_"So you're saying that these people somehow know about us without even meeting us?" _Pein inquired. Hidan shrugged.

_"I guess so. _Me and Tobi saw it with our own fucking eyes. Right?_" _He turned to the other dog. Tobi nodded.

_"Right!" _He said cheerfully, glad that he could help with something. Pein nodded thoughtfully.

"Well, Itachi and I could still use our jutsus. So that means we still have chakra in these pathetic bodies." The golden dog said.

"You're fucking serious! Then that means there's a possibility that we could get back to our original bodies!" Hidan Barked. Pein simply nodded.

The girls watched their pets, not noticing really how odd the positions the animals had sat in, almost meeting like. They sat in a semi-circle under the slide, looking serious.

"So your visiting your dad?" Jasmine asked. Maria sighed, running a hand through her short cropped hair.

"Yeah. My grandma pulled some strings so I could, so I'm gonna take up the offer. It could be a one time thing, girl. Won't be back till Monday or so." Jasmine cringed, knowing what was to be asked next.

"And you want me to babysit your pets?" Jasmine asked, openly staring at her friend's wrapped hand.

"Knight is harmless... Sorta... Just don't touch him." Maria said, waving her wrapped hand dismissively. "So is that a yes?" Jasmine made a face but nodded.

"JUST because I'm that awesome. And plus, my mom, step dad, and sister are all going to be leaving tomorrow morning, so I could hide them in my room when I say goodbye." Grinning at her red-headed friend, Maria threw her arms around the girl.

"Thanks Jasmine." Laughing Jasmine pushed Maria off of her, looking back to their pets.

"Here." Maria said handing over the leashes. "I gotta go cook and clean before my mom gets home. See ya later."

"BYE!" Jasmine yelled, waving to her friend. Maria waved back, before sternly replying.

"Be home by nine and shut up so you don't wake sleeping neighbors. And take care of my kids!" Making a face at Maria when her back was turned, Jasmine decided to head home with her new victims.

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><p><strong>Balooga: Well thanks for cutting me off... <strong>

**Sheer: Uh-huh yeah.**

**Balooga: :P Anyway, I hope you likey! Please review! You'll get an imagnary waffle! (V^_^)#**

**Sheer: Yeah your reviews would be great! Stay intune for next week's chapter, gotta jet~!  
><strong>

**Both: BYE BITCHES! :D **


	3. Chapter 3 Goodbyes and Relaxation

**Hey! Balooga here! I decided that I would surprise Sheer by uploading a new chapter for you guys~!  
><strong>**This chapter is mostly a filler. But it does have some valuable information in it. Like what Jasmine meant when she said her parents are leaving. (Or something along those lines...) Anyway, also you meet Jasmine's sister, Rey. And her stepfather, Carlos.**

**Rey looks like Jasmine but with darker hair. Carlos ****is a large, bald Mexican man.**

**Disclaimer: WE NO OWNIE NARUTO!**

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><p>"Jasmine, wake up!" The sleeping red head groaned and buried her face in the pillow. "Jasmine. Get. Your. Ass. Up!" She rolled over.<p>

"Five more minutes..." There was a groan. Jasmine opened and blinked bleary eyes. "I dun wanna get up." She rolled over again. She despised whoever invented seven in the morning.

"Well, I guess you don't want to say bye to me and mom before we leave for a month..." Rey trailed off and was about to leave the room, but stopped when her younger sister's bed creaked because Jasmine flew off of it and out of the room. She sighed and followed after her. In the hall, she heard her sister yelling about missing their mother.

"Oh, mother! How I will miss you so!" Rey entered the living room, seeing her sister on her knees in front of their mother. She snorted. The red head continued her speech. "Shalt I comparest thee to a summer's day?" Jasmine's mom pushed the teen away and laughed.

"Okay. I think that's enough." The older woman said, patting her daughter's head. "Honey! If you wanna come, you need to get down here!" She directed to her fiancé who was currently upstairs, getting ready.

"Carlos is going?" Jasmine asked. She watched her mother nod. "I thought he was gonna stay with Grampo."

"Not anymore." Her mother said. "He obviously can't stand being one second without me." She raised her arm to put the back of her hand to her forehead. "It's a shame, really." The woman's daughters snorted. Just as The older red head was finishing her speach, her fiance was walking down the stairs, buttoning up his shirt.

"Yeah right." He said as he neared the bottom of the steps. "You were the one who begged me to go with you." Jasmine and Rey's mother pouted.

"Whatever." She seemed to remember something. "Oh! Rey, go get the thing." Rey nodded and dissapeared into her room, next to the kitchen. She prefered it downstairs. Something about escaping a zombie apocolypse. Jasmine seemed to perk up at the mention of a 'Thing'.

"Hey, what are you talking about?" Jasmine tried to follow her sister into the room, but was stopped by her mom's arm.

"It's an early Christmas preasant. Just be patient." Her mother cooed. When she saw her sister come back with two rolled up posters, Jasmine was curious.

"What's this?" She asked, eyeing the posters.

"I asked Rey to buy you these last night. Open them." As Jasmine opened the first poster, her mother continued. "I saw that you liked that Naruto show. I told Rey to but you posters of the bad guys, since you seem to always like the villans." Jasmine opened it all the way and saw that it was a poster of Orochimaru and Kabuto. She smiled.

"Thanks mom!" She opened the second one. It was a poster of the Akatsuki. Of course she had only seen Itachi and Kisame so far. But she knew enough from the Naruto Wiki. She hugged her mother. "Thanks!" The older red head smiled and hugged back.

"Come on, we're gonna miss our flight." Jasmine's mother said to Carlos. She grabbed the man's arm and was almost out the door with him, but she quickly turned around. "Rey, get over here. Jasmine... Try not to be so... You." Jasmine laughed and waved as she watched her family leave for an entire month.

Once she was sure she heard the motor of the car was out of the driveway, she ran upstairs with the posters. Upon entering her bedroom, she threw the posters on her bed and ran to her closet and opened it.

"I'm soo sorry little guys!" She said as the animals filed out of the small room. "I couldn't find anywhere else to put you!" She snickered when she heard growls and barks from Smartass and turned to flick his nose. "Oh, shut your face hole." At that she got another growl and an attempt to bite off her finger. Instead of dwelling on the fact that that dog is the second most vicious thing she's ever seen in her life (Knight being the first), she decided to put up the posters she got.

She grabbed the scotch tape off of her nightstand and went to her "Wall of Awesomeness". There, she has drawings and posters of her favorite shows and movies. She examined the wall and decided where the poster of Orochimaru and Kabuto will go. One time, she spent thirty minutes just trying to figure out where her drawing of L form Death Note would go.

Finally, she found the perfect spot. Right between her One Piece poster and the chibi drawing of Misa glomping Light. She smiled when she taped it up. She was about to put up the poster of the Akatsuki but she got distracted by barking and meowing. She turned around to see the animals looking at her with expecting eyes. Jasmine raised an eyebrow when Sugar started scratching at her leg and barking excitedly.

"Oh, I get it. You're hungry." She said as she walked out of her room and down the stairs, her and her friend's pets following obediently behind her. Once in the kitchen, she poured dog food in one large bowl and cat food in another. She then went to the back door to open it a little.

"If any of you feel the need to use the bathroom, please go outside." She proceded to leave the house into the backyard. Her family wasn't rich, but they definetly weren't poor. In her backyard was a small playground in the far left corner. To the right and closest to the house was a small air conditioned building holding a hot tub and five foot deep pool. Jasmine sighed just thinking about how today would be her relaxing day. She went back inside to grab a towl and her bathing suit.

"Feel free to come outside if you want to go for a swim." She tossed the towl over her shoulder and walked out the door, Sugar following close behind. Jasmine smiled at the black and brown dog as she walked into the small building. She patted his head and walked into the small changing room near the pool. She was about to close the door but she noticed that Sugar was inside with her.

"You should probably leave." She flicked his nose. "Unless you wanna see me naked." She laughed when the dog whimpered and left the small room. She closed the door and started to change. When she finished, she got out and stepped into the hot tub, sighing at the wonderful warmth that spread throughout her body. 'Today's gonna be a great twenty four hours.' She thought, leaning back and putting her ears under the water.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed this chapter full of nothing! Maybe we could upload another tomorrow if you are nice~! ;)<strong>

**R&R PLZ!**


	4. Chapter 4 Ramen and Transformations

**Hey it's Balooga again! What's that? They're turning into humans in this chapter? OMGEEZUS! Lol. This is another surprise ****upload for Sheer! Hurrah!**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own Naruto. But I'm working on it. :Acts sketchy:**

**ENJOY!**

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><p>The two days went by like nothing. They were uneventful and highly relaxing on Jasmine's part. She spent the days pruning up in the hot tub with Sugar and sometimes Smartass, feeding the animals and watching their crazy antics, and sleeping in. Of course today was monday meaning going to school and leaving the pets alone by themselves. Jasmine got up begrudgingly at eight in the morning and rolled out of bed. She set up pet beds and enough food and water for the day in the backyard. The red head opened the back door and allowed the animals outside.<p>

"You guys better not try to get out. I'll be back at four so do what you will to entertain yourselves." She said sleepily. With that she closed the door and left the house to walk to the bus stop.

_"So we're stuck here for hours, un?" _Deidara asked looking at the sliding glass door that was blocking them from the inside world.

_"Well at least we fucking have time to discuss what happened to us." _Hidan said with some hope in his voice. Kisame spoke up.

_"Don't hold your breath. We had three days to "discuss what happened to us". A couple of hours would make no difference." _Hidan glared but knew that the blue cat was right.

_"This fucking sucks ass." _He said to no one and went to curl up under the swing set.

"Hey Jazzy, did you miss me?" Maria asked teasingly, sitting next to Jasmine at the lab table. The red head snorted.

"I actually had a lot of fun without you." She answered while cleaning a beaker and continueing to fill it with an unknown chemical. "No offence." She said quickly when she noticed her friend didn't answer. Maria laughed and ruffled Jasmine's hair.

"Aww. My little girl is growing up!" Jasmine slapped the hand away from her head and half glared at Maria.

"I'm only a year younger than you." She said while sprinkling some type of powder into the beaker and watching the solution change colors from clear to light purple. The dark haired teen frowned at the mixture.

"Are you sure you're doing that right...?" She asked, looking at the chemestry teacher and seeing she was doing a totally different thing. Then she looked back at her best friend. "And shouldn't you be wearing goggles?" Jasmine laughed.

"Pish posh." She added a green gelitian like substance to the beaker. "Goggles are for squares," She grabbed a long wooden shishkabab stick from her backpack and poked the mixture. "Like pants." Maria would have said something sarcastic about the fact that Jasmine is wearing pants at this moment, thus making her a square, but she was much too concerend about her friend's safety. And the whole class for that matter. One time Jasmine almost blew off her hand. But she only ended up with a broken pinkie and singed off eyebrows. Maria smiled at the thought. Those were the days.

She was broken from her thoughts by a loud popping and a screach coming from her best friend. She turned to see Jasmine covered from head to upper stomach, in a greenish blue goop. She was about to say something when the teacher's voice boomed through the room.

"Ms. Springer! To the princible's office! Now!"

At the end of the school day, Jasmine and Maria sat at the sofa, eating instant ramen and watching another episode of Naruto on the red head's laptop. Well, Naruto: Shippuden to be exact. She skipped all of those uneeded filler episodes. Maria tried telling her she might miss something, but so far she understands all of whats happening. She paused the show and turned to Maria.

"So. Now Mr. Tranny is missing both arms. And his boyfriend, Puppet-Guy, got killed by Bubble-Gum-Chick and Older-Than-Dirt-Lady." Jasmine grinned, thinking that she did a good job explaining what had happened so far. Maria shook her head.

"Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with you."

"Is that a good thing?" Jasmine asked while slurpping up chicken flavored noodly goodness.

"Sure." Maria smiled. This is why she chose this crazy chick as a best friend: Because Jasmine always knows how to make things awesome. The raven haired girl was pulled from her thoughts by angered barking. She and Jasmine looked down to see Smartass, growling and pawing at the red head's leg. She raised and eyebrow. "What's with him?" Jasmine shrugged.

"I haven't seen him eat. I guess now that my mom's gone, I could give him some human food..." She said reaching in her bowl for a noodle. Smartass seemed to perk up at this. Jasmine giggled and patted his head bofore holding her other hand out so he could eat the food. He gobbled it up quickly. The red head sighed. "That's what you get for refusing to ea-" She was cut off abruptly by a puff of smoke and a loud curse.

Once most of the smoke dissapated and she and Maria were able to see, their eyes were met with a man with white hair. A good looking man with white hair. A good looking, stark naked man with white hair. Jasmine gaped. Maria got up and went to the kitchen.

"Tell me when I turn around, there will not be an Asian nudist in your house." She said flatly.

"I could. But I think I'd be lying." Jasmine replied, still staring into the man's purple eyes. She blinked once. Twice. Three times. "Who the hell are you!" She yelled. The other animals sat watching this exchange with interest. The man scowled.

"You fucking named me 'Smartass'!" He shot back, either not noticing or not minding his state of undress. Jasmine seemed to forget about it too.

"What the fuck is going on!" She got up and went to the kitchen with Maria. "Maria! Help me get the nudist out of my house!" She grabbed the other teen by the wrist and pulled her into the livingroom. Maria sighed and followed reluctantly. They both snickered when they heard an angry shout in the livingroom.

"Why the fuck am I naked!" At that moment, Jasmine figured out that he didn't notice the fact that he was completely clothless.

"You're retarded. Didn't you notice the lack of clothing on your body?" She asked as she walked out of the kitchen with Maria in tow.

"He didn't notice because he _always_ has a lack of clothing on his body." A deep voice said from upstairs. Jasmine looked up to see an old looking man with stitches on his face walking down the stairs, aranging one of her stepdad's shirts on his body. Now what she was wondering was: How did he open her parent's room door if it was locked?

"Shut the fuck up Kakuzu!" The naked man said. Maria leaned in to whisper in Jasmine's ear.

"Do you know what's going on," She asked. The red head turned to answer but was cut off.

"Don't make me decapitate you again." Kakuzu said calmly.

"Because I don't." Maria finished. Jasmine was about to say something.

"Leader's just gonna tell you to fucking sew it back on!" The white haired man yelled to the one named Kakuzu.

"I doubt he would say those words, exactly." He said back. Jasmine growled in frustration.

"Why don't you just suck my-"

"_EVERYONE _can suck _MY _dick!" Jasmine yelled over the bickering men. She looked at the suprised faces of her best friend, the fighting guys, and some more people she didn't notice before. She sighed to calm herself down. "Everybody. In the kitchen. Now."

She led the way into the kitchen and sat at the head of the table. Maria went and stood next to her. The dark haired teen knew not to mess with Jasmine when she got pissed. And pissed she was.

Jasmine arranged her interlaced fingers in front of her face, a habit she picked up from her mom, and watched the men and one woman file into the kitchen. She tried to ignore the fact that all of them looked like the Akatsuki but, honestly, she couldn't.

"Explain yourselves." She ordered in the scariest voice she could muster. Maria flinched. The last time she heard Jasmine use that voice was when the red head's ex girlfriend cheated on her. "I said explain!" She said louder. The naked man spoke up.

"We have no fucking idea what the hell we're doing here!" Jasmine directed a glare at the man. She then looked at the others. Yes the blond definetly looked like Mr. Tranny. The red head does look like Puppet Guy, and that dual colored one is most likely Plant Dude. Though he does look different without his weird venus fly trap thingy.

"You're saying that you guys, a group of S-rank ninja, don't know how you got here?" She asked, humor lacing her words. Maria looked at her like she was crazy. She leaned in to whisper in Jasmine's ear.

"What are you talking about?" Jasmine ignored her and continued talking.

"You do know you're in another dimension, right?" Maria tried again.

"What are you doing?" The red head gave her a look.

"I'm dreaming. It's obvious." She said matter of factly. "Why else would I be here, having a conversation with the Akatsuki?" Maria face palmed.

"This isn't a dream." She said slowly. Most the Akatsuki nodded in agreement. Jasmine paused, looked around, looked back at Maria, and colapsed from the chair.

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><p><strong>Ooh! Cliffhanger. Lol<strong>

**R&R!**


	5. Chapter 5 Shopping and Mall Jail

**Balooga here! So... Finally, some Akatsuki interaction! ****Me and Sheer tried to make them as in character as possible. If anything seems... meh, then go ahead and review and say what's wrong! **

**Disclaimer: I, the great and magical Balooga, has yet to obtain the wonderfulness that is Naruto. :Is Disappointed:**

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><p>Jasmine lay still on the sofa. She had been out cold for about an hour. Maria and the Akatsuki stood in a circle around her.<p>

"Will she live?" Pein asked the dark haired teen with some worry in his voice. Maria shrugged.

"Not sure. I've never seen her faint before, but I heard it is a regular occurence for her." She looked at the group of serial killers. "So you really have no idea what happened to you guys?" She asked and she went to the kitchen to grab a bowl of hot water.

"No. We just all woke up here as animals." The red head Maria knows as 'Puppet Guy' said flatly. She couldn't tell if he was serious or if he was being sarcastic. She looked at the rest of the group for confirmation and saw them nod.

"That's pretty weird." She said to no one in particular. She grabbed a wash cloth and dipped it in the water while walking into the livingroom again. "Is there anyone that might not like you very much." She paused. "Don't answer that. You're criminals." She shoved passed the now clothed Hidan and dropped the dripping wet wash cloth on the red head friend's face. Sasori raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you doing that?" Maria then proceded to sit on Jasmine.

"If she starts to drown her brain will atumatically tell her body to wake up." She answered matter-of-factly.

"Tobi wants to know why Maria-chan is sitting on Flower-chan." Tobi said, worried about his 'owner's' health. Maria sighed, knowing full well that this Tobi character was going to be her worst nightmare once he and Jasmine become friends.

"There's no more room on the couch." She got up. "Now what I really want to know is how a couple of characters from a tv show could get here."

"If we knew that we wouldn't be having this Fucking problem." The one known as Hidan yelled. "We would have been home, dammit!"

"Shut up Hidan".

"Fuck you Kakuzu!"

Maria fisted her hands. 'Time for you to wake up now Jasmine... Before I kill your annoying little 'pets'. She thought, irritated. She left to the kitchen, yanking a tray of ice cubes out of the freezer, before walking back.

"Alright Jazzy im gonna have to force you to wake up now" Ignoring the looks the band of criminals gave her, Maria tossed the tray of ice cubes into Jasmine's cloths preparing for the screams.

"WHAT THE HELL! THAT SHIT IS COLD, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

"To wake you up and re-inform you that a group of S-ranked criminals are in your living room, which we have thought to be our odd pets the past few days. Yet supposedly are not even from our very demention and have absolutely no idea how they came to be here." The older girl answered calmly, giving a short summery of everything.

"Something has got to be wrong with you." Jasmine stated before turning to the group known as the Akatsuki from her new show addiction. "Everyone to my room! It's time for the internet!"

Jasmine slammed her fist onto her laptop.

"It's the end of the world! The internet has nothing on this kind of thing!"

"You could be searching the wrong things." Maria pointed out, momentarily stopping her interrogation on the group.

"You do it then!" The red head growled. This was getting really frustrating, not that she minded having eight hot guys, one adorable man-child, and a cute blue haired chick in her room... but come on what the hell was going on? Maria pulled out a pen and mini note-book from her back pockets.

"How about we list everything we know? Create a data sheet of all the information."

A half an hour, and twenty note-book sheets later, they came up with nothing.

"Fuck no! Your telling me we're fucking stuck here?" Hidan yelled.

"We'll have to find somewhere to stay for the time being." Pein muttered, thinking of all the possible ways of getting out of this mess. A cry was heard from a certain orange masked man.

"Flower-chan's gonna get rid of Tobi? No! Tobi promises to be good!" Jasmine hugged her use to be orange and black puppy.

"No Tobi dosn't have to go! He can stay with us! Right Maria?"

"Well..."

"Come on Maria, let's keep them!" Deidara glared.

"We're not property!"

"Yeah you don't fucking own us, Bitches" Hidan cursed, agreeing. The rest of the gang somewhat agreed, aside from Tobi, who was still clinging to his 'owner'.

"Actually... We do." Maria smirked, realizing something. "We have adoption papers from your animal form, which is still technically you. So we have basic custody over all of you."

"And what kind of owners would we be if we let you face the this big bad world alone?" Jasmine teased knowing they had ownership, or at least were going to.

"Does this mean Tobi can stay with flower-chan?"

"This means all you doggies and kittens get to stay!" Now that everything was finally settled with no real objection from the Akatsuki or her red and black haired friend, Jasmine decided it was time to do something. "Alright all you freaks it's time to introduce you to our world. First thing first... Lets hit the mall!"

Maria kept writing in her notebook and walked out the door, knowing that the trip was going to be hell but there was no point in arguing. Jasmine guided the others out her door, and soon all, willingly or not, were on their way to to the so called 'mall'. The Akatsuki members didn't know what exactly to expect.

"Hidan! This would look great on you!" Jasmine shouted, holding up a pink sparkley blouse to the silver haired man's torso. Hidan growled and pushed away the offending piece of clothing. Kakuzu eyed the colorful fabric.

"How much does it cost?" The red haired girl grinned.

"Twenty dollars!" She pushed it into Hidan's hands. He growled again and this time pushed the girl away and looked at band T-shirts on the wall. Kakuzu shook his head.

"Too much. You wont buy it." He said sternly and walked away. Jasmine pouted and went to find Tobi in the small dark store. She weaved through Hello Kitty stuffed animals and body peircings and finally found the masked man trying on a Gir hoodie. He noticed the teen and looked at her, probablly smiling.

"Does Tobi look good, Flower-chan!" He all but yelled after Jasmine. The Hot Topic clerk, who was currently talking to Pein about his many peircings, gave the childish man a stern glare.

"Not so loud, man!" Tobi pouted (At least he looked like he did because he hung his head) and whined.

"Tobi's sorry." He said sadly. The clerk nodded and turned back to Pein to continue talking.

"We get a lot of cosplayers in here. Sometimes they get a little too in character." He said apologetically. Pein tilted his head to the side.

"What is a 'cosplayer'?" He asked, hoping to learn more about this new world.

"Someone who dresses like a character from an anime or game, or something." The clerk replied. "You know, now that I think about it, you look kinda like you're cosplaying for Pein from Naruto. With the peircings and the carrot top and all." Pein paniced, but of course he would never let it show on his face. He simply rose and eyebrow.

"I've never heard of that. Is that the one with the dog demon?" He asked stupidly. Good thing Autumn told him and the others about Inuyasha. Without it, they would've been screwed. The clerk frowned.

"No. But whatever. I guess it's just a coincedence." He said kind of awkwardly. "So did they hurt? You know, the peircings?" He asked just to change the subject.

"Of course." Pein said without skipping a beat. The clerk flinched at his bluntness.

"Oh. well I don't like things that hurt. Just, you know, dyeing my hair and stuff." The man ruffled his blue and hot pink hair to emphisize his point. The orange haired man gave a subtle but powerful glare.

"Those who do not understand true pain can never understand true peace." He said coldly before walking away to find his partner who was probably hanging out with Sera. The clerk sneered.

"What the hell is that supose to mean?" He shouted at the man's retreating back. Pein turned around to look at the clerk. He read the name tag.

"I said, Josh, those who do not understand true pain can never understand true peace." He repeated the statement. The clerk growled and muttered an insult. Pain raised an eyebrow at the unheard words. "Would you like to repeat that. I'm afraid I couldn't hear." He said, narrowing his eyes. The clerk stepped back, further behind the counter. He waved his hands in front of his face.

"Dude, it's nothing!" He said defendingly. "It's cool!" Pein was about to say something but stopped when a hand was placed on his shoulder. He turned around to see Konan and Maria. The former of the two was the owner of the hand. Maria frowned.

"What's going on?" Pein directed a glare at the cowering man but answered the question as if he were looking at the girl.

"I was just about to kill someone." He said flatly. The man smirked and pressed a button on the counter. Maria sighed and face palmed.

"You shouldn't have said that." She said to the peirced man as she watched a couple of mall cops run into the store. The large black one walked up to the clerk.

"What's the problem, Josh?" He asked, looking around, his eyes landing on the small group of three. The clerk answered, crossing his arms childishly.

"He threatened me. Said he was going to kill me." Maria, who still had her palm on her cheek, dragged it down her face in a frusterated mannor.

"Look, he's not good with people. He's kinda messed up in the head." She said, trying to lie her way out of this situation. The officer, Carl as his name tag said, gave her a look.

"You're with this man?" He asked. Maria nodded. "I should arrest you too. A threat is a threat. Especialy if it's a death threat." The red and black haired girl gaped at the word arrest. She was about to say something, but Konan beat her to it.

"You can't do that." Carl looked at the the blue haired woman and frowned.

"Would you like to join your little friend?" He asked warningly. The smaller, most likely rookie in training, cop chuckled. Maria went to insure the man there was no need for that but again, Konan beat her.

"I said nothing about joining anyone. I said that you won't put him in any type of jail." The larger cop grabbed Pein and turned to his partner.

"Grab the girl." He said sternly. The other nodded and took both of Kobnan's wrists and yanked them behind her back. Maria was angry now.

"So you're putting them in jail?" She shouted. Carl nodded.

"Yep. It's downstairs, next to the front enterence. It's three dollars to bail someone out." With that, he and his partner left the store. But not without turning around and telling Maria that she and anyone else who was with them was kicked out of Hot Topic for the rest of the day.

Maria blinked as she watched the men leave. 'Did they really just get arrested?'

"Didn't you hear him? Get the hell outa my store!" The clerk yelled, one hand on his hip, the other pointing at the door. Maria scowled.

"Don't raise you voice." she growled, giving him her darkest glare. Satisfied with his slience, she ran out the door to look for Jasmine. She hardly made it ten feet before she bumped into someone's back.

"Yo watch it!" A familier voice shouted at her. She looked up to see her red headed friend walking next to Tobi.

"Jasmine!" The red head composed herself and pouted.

"Why the fuck are you running around?" Jasmine said as she started walking in the direction she was going before she got shoved. Tobi followed like a lost puppy. Well, he was one not even three hours ago.

"No. Konan and Pein just got arrested." Maria growled now re-fusterated. The masked man gasped histarically and Jasmine's eyes went wide and she stopped.

"They were arrested? IN THE MALL!" She asked, stupified.

"Yeah." Maria crossed her arms. "Stupid clerk in Hot Topic called a mall cop when Pein said he was 'about to kill him'."

"Bitch."

"I know."

"So what do we do?" The red head asked, wondering what mall jail was actully like. 'It couldn't be that bad.' She thought.

"We could leave them." the other teen sighed. "But we already adopted them so we have to take care of them." Jasmine nodded in agreement.

"So?" She asked.

"You find mall jail." Sera decided. "Do you know where the rest of our group went?" She asked Jasmine and Tobi. Jasmine shrugged.

"Zetsu was complaining about how little meat he's consumed so I sent him, Hidan and Kakuzu to the food court. I assumed Itachi and the two 'artists' would like some clothes other then my stepdad's old man clothes so I gave them money and told them to go to JC Penny." Jasmine shrugged a second time. "They could be anywhere my now..." Maria tilted her head to the side.

"What about Kisame...?" She asked hesitently.

"I thought he was with you?" Maria cursed.

"I'll go find all of them, you and Tobi look for the mall jail." They both nodded.

"Ready..."

"Set..."

"GO!" Maria ran in one direction while Jasmine dragged Tobi along with her to costumer service.

"What?" Maria asked, not believing anything this old man was saying. Maybe today just isn't her lucky day. Now that she thought of it, she really didn't have a lot of those.

"Yup he started cussing and knocked down this whole area. The manager called the cops and they took him!" The elderly man huffed. "Teenagers these days."

"Thank you sir" Maria smiled sweetly, though on the inside, she was fuming. 'Note to self: KILL HIDAN.' The man looked at her and huffed again.

"Well your welcome. At least some kids have manners." Maria nodded and walked away. 'Damn these guys!' she thought, snaping her phone open. She texted Jasmine.

'Where are you?' In a few seconds her phone buzzed.

'At the mall jail. We're waiting.'

"How do you all manage to get arrested!" Jasmine yelled, Agnered at the fact that these guys are having all the fun without her.

"We take you out to interact and what happens? You get locked up" Maria muttered.

"You really are bad" Jasmine grinned. Maria looked to the cop. 'Great,' She thought. 'It's the same guy.'

"So how much?" She sighed, ignoring everyone else.

"Three dollars a person," Carl awnsered, glaring at the group.

"Thats twenty-something bucks, guys!" Maria yelled at the gang, "Your lucky. I should leave you!"

"Nooooooooo! Tobi doesn't want you to leave Deidara-senpai! He will be sad and alone!" Tobi cried out, shaking the thin metal bars in an attempt to get his senpai out. Sighing, Maria swiped her bank card.

"You owe me." Jasmine smiled.

"You know you love them." Carl unlocked the bars

"Now you all get out." Rolling her eyes, Maria ushered her group out, snatching her card and bags on the way out.

"Well this was fun." Jasmine said outloud, a tiny bit sarcastic, and ignored all the glares and raised eye-brows.

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><p><strong>You like? I hope so! BYE PEOPLES!<strong>

**R&R PLZ!**


	6. Chapter 6 Spongebob and Snakes

**Hey, it's Balooga! Sorry it took a while to update... :SheepishSmile: I got grounded and I THOUGHT Sheer was going to update but NOOoo, apparently not! :P (Love you, Sheer!) Anywhay, enjoy chapter 6 of this wonderful adventure!**

**Sorry for any misspellings...**

**Remember, me and Sheer don't own Naruto. :(**

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><p>Hidan sighed and plopped onto the couch, but not before he took off his shirt, of course. Jasmine scowled at the man. She was about to tell him to be respectful in one's home, but it seemed like Kakuzu was pretty much used to doing it himself.<p>

"Put your shirt back on." He said calmly as he passed by the lounging man. Hidan growled.

"Shut the fuck up, old man!" He put his feet up on the coffee table. "I do whatever the fuck I want." Jasmine looked to Pain and gave him a look. The carrot top nodded and turned to Hidan.

"This is Jasmine-san's house, Hidan. You should follow her rules." Yes it was worded quite like a suggestion. But no. It was more like an order. One you either do or die. Hidan hesitated. Sure he's immortal and all, but he knew for a fact the Leader had a few things up his sleave. Finally, he put his legs down, mumbling abouthow stupid this entire thing was.

Maria came through the door, carrying about five or six bags of clothes. She growled and glared at the red head who was currently smiling sheepishly and rubbing the back of her neck. A habbit she didn't know she picked up from watching Naruto.

"Thanks for the help, guys." Maria said sarcastically, faking a smile that didn't help to hide her anger one bit.

"Tobi is sorry Maria-chan! Tobi will help!" the mask man cried out happily, snatching the bags away and swinging them around. Jasmine covered her eyes. 'don't let anything brake..' She thought hopefully.

"No, Tobi give me those!" Maria hissed snatching five or the six bags back. "Some of those things are breakable."

"Oh Tobi wants to see!" Tobi opened the bag he had, peeking inside.

"Ah! No!" Maria yanked that bag away. "Bad Tobi!" Glaring at the small group of people, Maria turned to the guest room she was staying in downstairs.

"Flower-chan?" Jasmine turned to Tobi.

"Yes?"

"What was all those lacy things? Who's Victoria? What's her secret?" From down the hall way, you heard a fusterated scream that Jasmine matched with a loud laugh. Jasmine ran Maria's room, grinning. Both girls leaving everyone more than confused. Tobi shrugged and sat next to Hidan. "Where's Zetsu-san?" Tobi asked, tilting his head cutely.

"He's looking for anything suspisous." Pein said calmly. "For anything we can use to get out of whatever strange place we're in right now." Tobi and the rest of the group nodded. Deidara moved to the coffee table and grabbed the remote, looking at it from different angles and trying to figure out how to work it. Sasori frowned at his partner.

"Do you even know how to use that, Brat?" He asked. Deidara pouted and pressed a button that says "on". He smirked in victory when the screen blinked from black to what looked like a talking yellow square. He turned to Sasori.

"I do know how to use this, un! Are you jealous?" Sasori sighed and settled for sitting on the recliner next to the lager couch and looking at the screen. Itachi and Kisame occupied the loveseat after a while and Deidara decided to sit net to Hidan, who was now froced to scoot to the middle of the couch because Tobi plopped on the other sid of him. Pein and Konan were standing behind the couch and Kakuzu went upstairs for some reason or another.

_"F is for friends who do stuff together! U is for you and me! N is for anywhere at anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea!" _

All the criminals frowned at the screen with displeasure. Well, all axcept for Tobi, who was now attempting to sing along with the song. Now was Sasori's turn to smirk.

"And I suppose you know how to take it off of whatever horrible program this is?" He asked, amused. Deidara frowned slightly.

"Are you feeling alright, Danna?" The blond asked, concerned for his partner. "You've been acting different..." Pein turned to the red head who was now trying to school his face to look like his usual stoic self.

"Deidara is right. Is there something you haven't told us?" The pierced man asked, tilting his head slightly. Sasori sighed.

"I'm... Human." He said. "I... I _feel _things and I don't like it." He stated simply. Pein raised and eyebrow. He thought on this for a while.

"Thats odd. All of us are able to use our Jutsu, but you turn into a human instead of staying puppet." He thought out loud. The Akatsuki all stayed quiet, thinking of the situation on their own. Just then, Zetsu fazed through the wall.

"He's here." White side said. **"The snake is here." **Black side Zetsu were any other person, he would be screaming hystarically. All heads snapped to him.

"You know for sure it was him?" Kisame asked from his spot in the loveseat. Zetsu nodded.

"I saw him and Kabuto. They're going by the names of Jeramy and Chris. They were at the adoption center we woke up in, probably looking for us." White side said. Pein nodded slowly, thinking things over. He walked to the hall where the guest room was.

"I'm going to talk to the girls about this." He said over his shoulder, ignoring Tobi's request to go with him. He knocked quietly on the door once he reach it and heard a muffled 'come in' from Jasmine. He opened the door a crack and peeked in, seeing Maria and Jasmine sitting on the bed, both cross-legged, seemingly in conversation. Pein suddenly felt kind of awkward, having never really been around any girls other than Konan. "Did I interupt something?" He asked through the now wide open doorway. Jasmine Shook her head.

"No. Did you need anything?" She asked. Pein nodded.

"I think we've found our reason for being here." He said, getting straight to the point. Maria tilted her head.

"How do you know?" She asked. She motioned to the computer chair. "You could sit if you want." She added. The carrot top nodded and grabbed the chair, pulling it up to the bed and sitting in it before crossing one leg over the other.

"Zetsu, our spy, went off to look for anything suspisous that could have lead to us being here. He's found Orochimaru and Kabuto where we were... bought." He said hesitently. Jasmine frowned.

"He was in the Akatsuki for like five seconds, right? He left 'cause of Itachi?" Pein nodded. Maria looked at her friend, wondering how she knew that.

"How do you know that and I don't?" She asked. Jasmine shrugged.

"I just decided to do some reasearch. There _is_ a Narutopedia." She said matter-of-factly. The red head looked to Pein to move on.

"You're exactly right. Though he was not nessicarily in the Akatsuki for five seconds... More like a couple of weeks. He tried to take Itachi's body for his jutsu..." He trailed off in thought. "It's likely that he brought us here as animals to weaken us temporarlly so he could attempt to get ahold of him again." Jasmine nodded slowly.

"Is there anything we could do?" She asked, worried about her newfound criminal friends. Pein sighed. He honestly didn't know. He didn't know why he even told these two girls in the first place. They weren't ninjas, they were basically useless teenagers. 'Was I worried about them...?' He thought. 'Was I trying to protect them?'

"I... Don't know. We should just lay low for now I guess. According to Zetsu, both Orochimaru and Kabuto look relativly the same. The only difference is their aliases." Both girls nodded.

"I've never quite gotten used to this place." Orochimaru muttered more to himself than to Kabuto. He and his assitant were walking down a dirt path that led to their hideout. Kabuto chuckled.

"Suprising, Orochimaru-sama. You've had access to this place since you released me of Sasori's jutsu." This only deepened the older man's scowl.

"Yes but this 'Texas', it's very large. You can't possibly excpect me to memerize this terrain." He said as they neared a small shack looking house. Orochimaru pulled a key out of his pocket. He winced when he did, not used to the rough feel of jeans. As he slipped the silver key into the doorknob, he spoke again. "Do me a favor and buy some supplies from the store. You know what we need. I plan on going into our plan in a couple of weeks." He handed Kabuto some stolen money and went inside, closing the door on his face.

When Pein finally left, Jasmine turned to her partner in crime.

"We have help them." Maria nodded.

"Yeah I know. But first thing first, research." The red head snatched her laptop from the desk.

"I knew you would say that! I already have the Narutopedia link saved."

"Your obsessed." The other teen smirked.

"Nope just in love-" Jasmine started but was cut off.

"With Hidan!" The red head growled and leaped at her friend.

This is exactly what they were talking about before Pein came in. Jasmine decided to tell Maria who she thought was the cutest. That happened to be Hidan. Maria had laughed when Jasmine said that a man who cusses is a sexy man to her. The red head even thought it was kind of stupid when she heard it leave her mouth. Somehow, Jasmine got Maria to tell who she thought was the cutest. It was Itachi, go figure. He was quiet and mysterious. Jasmine had smirked when Maria had begrudgingly said his name. Maria has always liked the hard to get ones.

After some pillows being thrown and some threats being made, Jasmine began searching everything she could about Orochimaru and Kabuto. Maria pulled a clean white journal out of her bag along a black sharpie, with which she drew two snakes in the shape of an 'X' on the cover.

With that done, she took a seat next to Jasmine, writing down any useful information that the red head pulled from the internet.

They would not just stand aside.

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><p><strong>You like?<strong>

**Oh and if you would like to have an OC in this story, just PM Sheer With the following information.**

**Full Name:**

**Gender:**

**Age:**

**Race:**

**Weight:**

**Height:**

**Sexual preference:**

**Birthplace:**

**Likes:**

**Dislikes:**

**Personality:**

**Distinguishing Characteristics:**

**How You Met Our Characters:**

**Akatsuki member that you would like to be paired with (If any):**

**Other:**

**Please be warned that We will be doing this on a first come, first served basis. So if two people want to be with Kisame, the first person will be with him. But we will consider having both characters in the story, if you like.**

**R&R!**


	7. Chapter 7 Research and Mexican food

**Hola! 'Tis it awesome and wonderful Balooga-  
><strong>

**Sheer: Like she was saying... I'm here! ^_^**

**Balooga: Well that wasn't nice... :(**

**Sheer: Well I'm not nice. Anyways, New chapter! Veerrryyyy short sorry:P **

**Balooga: Yeah... But it has MEXICAN FOOOD! So that makes up for shortness, ne? Also, **

**Isclaimerday: **Eway on'tday ownway Arutonay. (Pig Latin. Lawl)****

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><p>"This is interesting." Jasmine muttered, biting her thumb, a habit she had gotten from watching Death Note. Maria looked over at her friend, wanting to know what was so interesting. She was on her own laptop that she had brought from her house, and Jasmine was on hers. Both were looking up Orochimaru on the Naruto wiki. When Jasmine glanced back at her, Maria tilted her head to the left, silently asking what was up. Jasmine also tilted her head, signaling that she wont talk if Maria wont ask. The raven haired teen tilted her head even more, so that her head was at an almost perfect nintey degree angle. The red head smirked her tilted her head more. No, not tilted, she turned her computer chair to face away from Maria and tilted her neck over the back of the chair so her entire head was upside down. "I win." She stated simply. Maria sighed and decided to humor her friend.<p>

"I was wondering what you thought was interesting." Jasmine chuckled and shrugged.

"It's just that Urban Dictionary says that Orochimaru is the 'Micheal Jackson of the anime world'." She gave a blinding grin. Maria, however, frowned and turned back to her laptop.

"Go check on the Akatsuki." She ordered once she got back to research. Jasmine sighed but complied either way. She got up from her chair and moved out of the guest room, closing the door behind herself.

"Oh criminals~!" She sang as she skipped into the livingroom. All of the Akatsuki turned around to look at her. Tobi jumped up and bounced over to Jasmine.

"Flower-chan!" He beamed when he reached her. He wrapped his arms around her in an extreamly tight hug. Jasmine coughed and shimmied out of his hold. Once she was sure he wasn't going to hug her again, she spoke.

"Tobi, what did I do to make you like me so much...?" She asked. She wasn't annoyed by it. She was really honestly just curious. Ever since they changed back into humans, Tobi has been all over her. The masked ninja hugged her again, but this time slightly, only slightly less tight.

"Tobi doesn't know! Tobi just really likes Flower-chan!" Jasmine sighed. Then a thought occured to her.

"Why do you call me 'Flower'?" She asked. Tobi giggled.

" 'Cause Jasmine is a flower!" He let go of the red head and skipped over to the sofa where he was sitting before. Jasmine sighed again but laughed anyway. She looked around the livingroom and noticed all of the spots taken. Finally she decided that the best spot would be sprawled across Tobi, Hidan, and Deidara on the couch. She walked over to the couch and, none too gently, did a superman jump over the armrest and landed before Hidan could even finish cussing.

"What the fuck are you doing, Bitch!" He yelled once he got his breath back. Jasmine turned and adjusted herself so that her back was on Deidara, her thighs on Hidan and her calfs on Tobi. She smiled before answering.

"Laying. What are _you _doing?" Hidan growled. Deidara shuffled awkwardly.

"Can you get off, un?" He asked, hoping that the polite way was the better way to go. Jasmine shook her head.

"Nope." Suddenly a thought hit her. She gasped. "Deidara! Give me your hand!" The blond raised an eyebrow. She ignored him and grabbed his hand.

"H-Hey! What are you doing, un?" He tried to pull out of her grasp but she had a death grip on him. She observed his hand, looking closely. Then she poked the palm, gasping when the mouth opened and the tounge inside licked her finger. She fangirl squealed.

"Oh my gosh! That is so awesome!" She continued poking at the mouth, asking a neverending string of questions. "Can it eat stuff? Have you ever tried kissing it? If you have, is it a good kisser? Ooh! Can _I _kiss it! Can it talk? Does it sneeze? If it does sneeze, are you obligated to say 'bless you'? Have you ever pleasureed someone with it? Oh, oh, oh! Have you ever pleasured _youself _with it! Can it-" She was cut off by Maria.

"Jasmine! Stop harrasing him!" Maria pushed the red head off of the three men. Hidan couldn't stop laughing at Jasmine's last question.

"Yeah, Deidara! Dou you pleasure yourself with those!" He teased. Deidara tried to hide any blush that might have crepted onto his face.

"N-No!" He yelled. Jasmine jumped up pointing.

"Oh my Kami he is blushing, that means yes!" She grinned doing her little victory dance before holding her hand out for a high-five. Maria smacked her hand away.

"No. That does not deserve a high-five. Say your sorry." Hidan stopped laughing long enough to smack his hand against Jasmine's.

"Fuck no. That was damn funny." Deidara used that time to sneak off back to his temporary room. Which sadly, for him, didnt go un-noticed.

"Sempi where are you going? Can tobi come?" The masked man called, pulling the attention back to the clay artist.

"No Tobi you can not go. Dei-Dei clearly need to take care off a problem with his hands." Jasmine stated factly.

"Oh! Tobi can help Deidara if he wants Tobi too!" The masked man, not quite following, offered 'innocently'. That statement set off another round of laughter, which Deidara took as he's opportunity to leave. Maria, shaking her head, made her way into the kitchen, leaving a laughing Jasmine and Hidan on the floor, along with a confused Tobi sitting on the sofa.

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><p>Later on that night, the house was filled with grouchy mumbles and groans.<p>

"Fuck, I'm starving!" Hidan mumbled, laying flat on his back on the floor.

"Then go into the kitchen and eat something." Pein replied without looking up from his book.

"The damn bitch in there won't let me! She threw a pan a me the last time!" Hidan growled.

"Sounds like something she would do..." Jasmine commented from her spot on the sofa, where she sat upside down with Tobi. The whole Akatsuki, along with Jasmine, lounged in the living room, waiting for the older of the two girls to call them to the dinning room.

"Flower-chan why are we doing this?" The childish man beside her asked, questioning why there were laying upside down on the couch.

"Because we're awesome!" she replied loudly. Tobi cheered in happiness, throwing his arms around Jasmine, affectivly knocking them onto the floor. Out of the blue, Maria appeared at the kitchen entrance, a knife in her hand. "Oh my gosh she has a knife! She's going to kill us all!" Jasmine yelled using Hidan as a human shield. Rolling her eyes, Maria pointed to the table with the knife.

"Go. Sit. And be quiet." In a few minutes, after some cursing and promises that no one was going to get shanked, everyone was seated at the table. "It's quesadillas and enchiladas." Maria stated quietly, watching them stare at the dishes, kind of nervous of their comments. Jasmine beamed at the food in front of her.

"AH! Maria you know I love your Mexican food!" She grabbed her fork and took a bite of the corn tortilla-wrapped deliciousness. "Mmm. Delicious as always! But what are you going to eat?" She asked her friend, knowing that Maria is a vegitarian. The raven haired girl shrugged.

"I could eat ramen. I just got the sudden urge to cook, ya know?" Jasmine nodded, looking around at the band of criminals that has already started eating. It looked just like a big happy family, sort of. Pein sat at the head of the table, Konan at his left. Across from her was Sasori who was sitting next to Deidara. Next to Konan was Kakuzu and Hidan. Sitting on the other side of Deidara was Kisame, with Itachi sitting to his right, directly across from Pein. Jasmine, Maria and Tobi sat at the bar while Zetsu was in the livingroom, probably making friends with the empty terra cotta pot next to the tv. Jasmine smiled and leaned on Maria's shoulder.

"I kinda don't want them to leave." She whispered softly. Maria nodded. Yeah. She liked that idea too.

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><p><strong>Sheer: If only I could have killed them...*sigh* but touching moment, yes?<strong>

**Balooga: ... Indeed. Well I hope you liked this chapter. The next one will be wayyyyy longer, though.**

**OH OH OH! Also, We have all the OC's needed for the time being.**

**Thanks so much for all your reviews and PMs~!**


	8. Chapter 8 Dick's and New Friends

**Hola seniors and senoritas! Welcome to chapter 8! I iz BALOOGA! **

**I promised a couple of Oc peoples that they would be in this chapter, but we couldn't fit them in. Sorry. There will be one in the next chapter, though!**

**Disclaimer: NO OWNIE!**

**Sorry for any misspellings, enjoy!**

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><p>Jasmine glared at the costomer before her.<p>

"Are you listening?" He asked slowly. Jasmine smirked. Oh how she loved her job.

"Yes I'm listening, dumbass. What? You think I'm stupid?" She asked. Dick's last resort. The only place where you get paid for being a rude bitch. The customer frowned.

"Excuse me?" He asked, raising his voice. Jasmine sighed. First timers wher always the hardest to deal with.

"Where the hell do you think you are?" She asked rudely. "You're at a place called 'Dick's' ! So I'm gonna be a dick to you! Now you could either leave and go hungry, or you could stay and eat some food!" She shouted. Just then, her manager came by and went to the customer.

"I heard yelling, is there a problem?" He asked the man. The custumer nodded.

"She was being horribly rude. I can sue you for this!" The manager smirked and left, patting Jasmine's shoulder as he did so.

"Always my best waitress, Jasmine, keep up the good work." He turned to look at the customer. "And as for you, you did come to a place called 'Dicks'... What did you expect?" He left into the kitchen, probably to check on how work was going in there. Jasmine smirked victoriously.

"So, you gonna stay or no?" At this point, the man looked appauled. He slammed his fist on the table and stood up, outraged.

"I'm leaving!" He yelled. He turned and moved to the exit. A hand on Jasmine's shoulder spun her around.

"Lose another custumer dear?" Maria asked her friend.

"It dosen't count he was a fucking new timer." The red head pouted. Maria laughed.

"Uh-huh yeah whatever."

"Hey Springer! Party of seven's order is up!"A hostess told the red head. Jasmine dramticlly bowed to her friend.

"That is my cue to leave." Maria smirked and went to the next table.

"You ready to order or what?" The man looked up from the conversation he was having with a young woman, surprised.

"Oh um-"

"You've been here for over thirty minutes and you still aren't ready? Are you even here for food?" Maria snaped hand on her hip. "Or are you just trying to get this bruenette drunk enough to fuck?" Said bruenette blushed scarlett red, her mouth droping open.

"Yup keep your mouth open like that and it will make things a whole lot easier for him".  
>The man shook his head and answered quickly.<p>

"Please just get us something to go. Anything. Just be quiet and go!"

"About time." Maria growled snatching his credit card, charging them for the most exspensive thing they had. 'If she's sleeping with him, may as well as make one girl happy.' She thought cheerfully, knowing her cheak would have just a little extra.

The rest of the girls shift went by fairly quickly, that was until it was almost time for closing.

"Exscue us." a voice purred out from behind Maria. "Are you still open?" Maria took in a large breath of air, getting into character. She wiped around.

"No we're closed. We just leave the doors un-locked because we don't belive in locks. What the hell do you think, of course we open, dip shit!" The tall pale man's face took on a smirk. He pushed a strand of his long brown hair behind his ear. He looked intriuged. Maria felt her stumach knot at the sight of the guy's abnormally long tounge come out to lick dry lips.

"This is a quite interesting resturaunt." He murmured. Maria wanted to cringe but her pride woudln't let her. 'This guy seems to have an eternal bedroom voice...' She nodded.

"Yeah, real interesting." She said sarcastically. "So you gonna plant your ass somewhere, or what?" The man nodded and turned to poke his head outside the door.

"Chris, they're open." He called out. Just then, a shorter man with blond hair tied in a high ponytail wearing what Maria recognised as 'Harry Potter glasses' came into the resturaunt. 'He's...acuallty kinda cute.' She thought, weirded out a bit. Shaking her head, she snaped her fingers in between the two.

"Plant your ass and I'll get you some menus. If your not hungry... Get the fuck out already!" The shorter of the two men looked at her questioningly. But Maria ignored that walked over to the bar, sliding over it, and picking up two of the menus they had put up already. She then crawled back over to the other side, not the best thing to do consitering she was in a short skirt, but whatever.

Droping the menus in front of the men, Maria leaned on the back of a chair from the table next to them, arms crossed. Seconds ticked by and the menus still weren't moved from their spots.

"Are you gonna order? Pick up the damn menus!" She sighed feigning annoyence  
>The paler men chuckled, doing as she said and fliping open the flimsy thing. Chris, or 'Harry Potter' as Maria now refered to him as, mearly handed her the meun back.<p>

"I'll just be ordering the same thing he is." Maria took the menu.

"The Firecracker Salmon would be delightful." The older of the two men said and smiled at Maria, flashing all his teeth in a creepy grin. Maria bit her lip to keep from squeaking.

" order will be down in ten minuites." She walked away, feeling the eyes of the weird man on her back. She passed the kitchen and gave the order to the cook and went to the break room. Jasmine would most likely be in there due to the fact that there was not a lot of customers at the moment. As she opened the door, she saw the red head on the small plush couch drinking a coffee and watching tv. Maria sighed.

"Jazzy, you know you shouldn't be drinking caffine this late." Jasmine looked up from the progam that was playing, shaking with her caffine high.

"I see nothing wrong with it." She said quickly, her eyes wide. "Just 'cause mommy said I can't jump off a bridge, doesn't mean I can't try!" She pointed to the show that was on. Hoarders. Maria sighed, knowing that watching Hoarders and drinking dangerous amounts of caffine were two things that Jasmine did when she was worried. She walked over to the red head and gently took the coffe cup away from her.

"Are you worried about the pets." Yeah. Over the past week Maria and Jasmine have gotten into the habbit of calling the Akatsuki 'the pets'. It was the first time they have been left alone in human form. Who knows what they would get into and destroy. Maria had locked up all of the Naruto manga and even the laptop so that they wouldn't find out about their own deaths. Jasmine nodded and calmed down a little.

"What if they get hungry and try to cook something and there's a fire?" She asked. "What if a friend comes over and they answer the door? What if-" Maria cut her off.

"Nothing's gonna happen. They're adults, they can take care of themselves." Maria smiled. "And plus, I wanted to tell you about some people who just walked in a while ago. They're pretty weird." She said changing the subject. Jasmine tilted her head.

"Really?" The raven nodded.

"Yup. They kind of remind me of Voldemort and Harry Potter." She smirked when she had Jasmine's interest. Just then a the manager came into the break room.

"Rodriguez, your custumer's order is ready." He said then left. Maria smiled and pulled Jasmine off the couch.

"Look I'll show you." Jasmine followed as they left the room and walked to the waiting men. When they reached the table Maria turned to Jasmine. "Keep them company." As she left she whispered. "They look like your type." With a snicker, Maria left. Leaving Jasmine alone with two people she did not know. At all. She sighed and looked at the men.

"Hi. Your food will be here in a bit." She told them quickly. The older of the two, 'Voldamort' if she remembered correctly, chuckled and looked at her.

"Is your little friend always so rude?" He asked. Jasmine nodded.

"Even when she's not working here. It's in our job descriptions to be rude at all times to the customers, if that's what you're asking." She looked around awkwardly, not the type to enjoy small talk. Though Maria was right, these two men are quite attractive. In a creepy kind of way. Voldemort smirked and held out his hand.

"My name is Jeramy." He waited until Jasmine shook his hand to introduce the man across from him. ""And this is Chris." Jasmine paused at the names. She swore she's heard those before. She just couldn't place them.

"Jasmine" She replied absently. Just then, Maria came with the food that the men had ordered and set it down on the table.

"Eat and leave." She said shortly, turning around to leave the two customers and an awkwardly standing Jasmine behind. Jasmine grabbed her arm before she could go.

"So you're just gonna leave me?" She asked. Maria sighed.

"Yes. I thought it was your dream to have a threesome before you turn thirty?" She asked, feigning innocence. Jasmine gasped and flushed.

"Wh-what! Wha-? I-? Bu-?" She stuttered hopelessly and turned to Jeramy and Chris, seeing both of them smirking. Jasmine tried to explain herself. "I-! Sh-she didn't mean that!" Maria smirked and put a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Sorry about her." She directed to the custumers. "She's kind of messed up in the head... So you don't mind us haning out here?" She was sitting next to 'Harry Potter' before she even finished her sentence. Jasmine stood, unmoving, still trying to get over her embarrassment. She looked up when Jeramy patted the spot beside him in the booth. She sighed and sat down.

.

Thirty minutes passed like nothing with the four of them laughing and talking together, they had to be kicked out ten minutes after closing. Now they were outside at the door, saying goodbyes.

"You don't have a car?" Jasmine asked Jeramy and Chris loudly. The older nodded.

"We walked. We dont live too far from here" He said, Chris nodding in agreement. Jasmine nodded slowly.

"We could totally give you a ride if you want! We don't mind!" Jeramy shook his head.

"That's not nessicary." He said, waving his hand. "We walked here, we could walk back." With that, the two men turned and walked away.

As Jasmine and Maria walked to the car, Jasmine stared at the darkening sky, thinking about the names of those men. She heard them somewhere, she knew it, but she couldn't tell where she heard them.

.

"The fuck took you guys so long?" Hidan groaned when Jasmine and Maria got back to the house. He was taking up the whole couch, laying down. Kisame was on the loveseat with Deidara, Itachi was on the recliner, all watching the news. Sasori, Pein, Konan, Zetsu, Kakuzu and Tobi were nowhere to be found. "I was bored as fuck." Maria sighed.

"Well now we're here." She said passing the livingroom to go to the kitchen, seeing Pein, Konan and Sasori. "Did you guys eat while we were gone?" She asked them. Pein shook his head.

"No. A decent meal would be good right now." Maria wanted to say something about rudness, but decided not to considering he was an S-rank ninja and all.

"Sure. Where's everyone else?" She asked as she went to Jasmine's pantry, looking for food to make.

"Zetsu is off looking for Orochimaru and Kabuto." Sasori said. "Kakuzu is upstairs, and Tobi got himself turned back into a dog." He said as if her were casually stating the weather. Maria gasped.

"How did that happen?" She turned around, almost dropping the box of macoroni that was in her hand. Pein sighed.

"He thought it would be a good idea to eat dog food." He said, seeming annoyed.

"Where is he?" Right when Maria asked that, a hyper dog suddenly hopped into the kitchen, barking. Maria sighed and pulled a starburst out of her pocket, unwrapping it and giving it to the black and brown dog. There was a puff of smoke and when it dissapeared, there stood Tobi wearing nothing but his mask. "Go put on some clothes." Maria said, looking straight at the eye hole. Tobi did a stupid little salute.

"Sir, yes sir." Tapping the inside of his right foot to the inside of his left foot, he left to run up the stairs. Maria heard a scream.

"Ahh! My virgin eyes!" It was Jasmine. Maria laughed, Jasmine's eyes were anything but virgin.

She looked into the pantry to find more food and frowned, noticing only one more box of macoroni. That was defineitly not enough to feed twelve people. She walked over to the livingroom, smirking when she saw Jasmine rolling around on the floor while the others ignored her and watching tv.

"Get up Jazzy. You've already seen a criminal's junk before, now's no different." He said, walking over to her friend. Hidan smirked.

"Yeah, and my junk is way better than Tobi's." He said, crossing his arms over his chest. Deidara scoffed.

"Yeah right, un." The blonde muttered quietly, but apparently not quite enough for Hidan not to hear. The silver haired man scowled.

"Shut the fuck up, Deidara-_chan_!" He said angrily. Jasmine and Maria smirked as they watched the two men continue to bicker. Maria sighed and turned to Jasmine.

"We need food. Normally, you live here with three other people and more than occasionally, me. We don't have enough of anything to feed everyone." She said, picking up Jasmine from the floor. "Go to the store." She ordered instead of asked. Jasmine sighed.

"So I'm assuming that you're not comeing with?" She asked, walking to the stairs to get ready. Maria shook her head.

"Nope. But take some of the Akatsuki with you. Preferably, your pets." She said looking at the arguing men. Jasmine looked at them, too.

"I guess. At least I'll have Kakuzu there to keep them in check." She muttered finally going up the stairs. Maria nodded.

"That's the spirit! Now I'm gonna go make the grociery list." She turned around on her heel to go back to the kitchen. She stopped when she walked by Deidara and Hidan. "I hope you guys are ready, you're gonna leave in a little bit." She continued to walk to the kitchen to see what they were missing.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked! <strong>

**R&R!**


	9. Chapter 9 Walmart and Shemales

**HEY! BALOOGA, HERE! This chapter has the first Oc, as promised! Aziza belongs to yyh-ygo-fma, who has been an awesome person for leaving reviews all the time! And for that, *Bows * We are grateful. :)**

**Sorry for any spelling mistakes. ENJOY!**

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><p>Jasmine sat grumpily in the driver's seat, turning the wheel with jerky movements and muttering curses under her breath. She wasn't angry. She was upset with the fact that Maria had refused to let her go to Walmart. Walmart was easily the most awesome stores in the entire universe. It was open late, it had lots of fun stuff to mess around with, and the staff there at this time of night was fun to mess with.<p>

" 'Don't go to Walmart' she said," Jasmine muttered as she made another jerky turn to the left. " 'You know you get when you go there' she said." Another jerk to the right. It nearly gave Tobi a heart attack.

"F-Flower-chan...? Can you s-slow down a bit?" He asked from the back seat. He was holding on to the front seat for dear life. Jasmine made another turn, this one even sharper. Tobi yelped. Kakuzu sighed from beside her.

"Calm down, girl." He said iritated.

"Just go to the damn wall place, or whatever! Maria won't evern fucking find out!" Hidan yelled, angered at the fact that he had to hear Tobi complain every time she turned. Jasmine gasped and turned to face the silver haired man.

"Dude, you're a genius!" She yelled when she stopped at a stop light. "How did I not think of that?" Deidara snorted.

"Really it shouldn't have been so hard to figure out, yeah." He said matter-of-factly. Jasmine ignored that and made a turn to go to Walmart, turning on the CD player and singing happily along with the song.

"The bass, the rock, the mic, the treble. I like my coffee black, just like my metal..." Singing? Sorry, I meant screaming idiotically. But it was all the same with her. Kakuzu pressed the button to turn it off.

"I will do to you exactly what I do to Hidan." He stated calmly, looking Jasmine straight in the eye. She gulped and nodded slowly, looking back to the road. She turned into the Walmart parking lot and parked as close as possible. She got out of the car and gave each of her 'pets' a part of the list. All accept Tobi.

"Can you all just look around for these things? If you can't find something, just come find me and Tobi and I'll help you." Tobi tilted his head to the side.

"Why can't Tobi get a list?" He asked Jasmine.

"Because I don't trust you in a store alone. You could get into big trouble." She said, flicking his mask and walking up to the large store with the four men behind her. Zetsu was out looking for Orchimaru again. "Oh! I forgot something!" She said, going to the side of the store, where there was scarce light and signaling the men to follow her. They did with raised eyebrows.

"Why the fuck are you taking us to a dark ass ally?" Hidan asked, annoyed. Jasmine sighed and pointed to them.

"Do that weird transformation thingy." She said. "People don't usually go to Walmart in cosplay." She motioned to all of them. They nodded and did the hand sign.

Kakuzu didn't change much, he lost the stitches and got peirceing black eyes in exchange for his usuall christmas colored ones. Hidan got brownish hair in the same style and his eyes turned dark blue. Deidara's hair got shorter and choppy and he lost the hand mouths. Tobi didn't change. Jasmine raised an eyebrow.

"Why aren't you transforming, Tobi?" Jasmine asked as she started to walk into the store.

"Tobi doesn't wanna take off his mask!" He said loudly. Jasmine giggled as the other men sighed.

"Okay, Tobi. I guess you could wear it." She said patting his head. She turned to the other guys. "Remember, just look for the crap that's on the list." She walked towards the frozen foods section with Tobi in tow, leaving the other three Akatsuki standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"I guess we just go, yeah?" Deidara asked, looking at the paper in his hand. Kakuzu sighed and started walking ahead.

"Help me find the milk, brat." He said walking past Hidan and in a random direction. Hidan commented on how much of a 'rude ass old man' he is but complied anayway. Deidara shrugged and went to go find out what 'tortillas' are.

.

Maria sat on the couch watching the blank television. The remote was on the coffee table and there was no Jasmine there to grab it for her. That was what Jasmines are for, right? Right. The only other person in the livingroom was Itachi, who was in the recliner, reading some novel that took her half a day to finish. Pein and Konan went to their temporary bedroom and told Maria to tell them when the food was ready. Sasori was in his room doing whatever he does. 'Probably tearing apart the bed frame to make one of those puppets.' Maria thought, smirking. Kisame was in the kitchen raiding the refridgerator. When Maria told him it would ruin his appetite, he assured her that, no, it would definetly not. Maria let out a huge sigh and leaned into the couch. Itachi looked over his book at her.

"I wouldn't mind if you turned on the television." He said, noticing how bored the teenager was. Maria almost jumped at the sudden sound. She looked at the man who was still looking at her. That was probably the first thing he's said to anyone that wasn't in the Akatsuki. Then she realized what he said. She shook her head.

"No, it's okay. I was enjoying the silence." She said, wincing at the way her words sounded ten times louder than they should have in the quiet room. Itachi nodded.

"Hn." He said quietly, turning back to his book. Maria almost swooned. Almost being the key word. _Hn _was such and Uchiha thing to sa- erm, grunt? Is that what it was? 'Whatever.' She resisted the urge to sigh again and got up to go to the kitchen. She needed to have a conversation with somebody. Well in her case, somefishy. She chuckled at her little joke and opened the door to the kitchen to find Kisame eating raw meat. She shook her head and walked over to him, picking up the plastic baggy he was eating out of and looked at the contents. Barely a handfull left. She threw it away. Kisame gaped.

"Why'd you do that?" He asked with meat still stuck in his mouth. Maria sat across him at the table.

"Because, one, that's discusting. You could get mad cow disease. And two, that was supose to be dinner." The blue man shrugged as Maria pulled out her phone to call Jasmine. It took a couple of seconds for her to answer.

"Hello...?" The voice said on the other line. Maria frowned. Jasmine never sounded this uneasy.

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked, worried. There was some rustling on the other Jasmine's side.

"Uh, yeah. Everything's cool. What's up?" She asked, trying to sound normal. Maria didn't buy it but decided to ignore it.

"Kisame ate all the hamburger meat, so add that to the list." She said while glaring weakly at the man in front of her. Jasmine gave an unconvincing laugh.

"S-sure. Sounds good." Was that a whine? There was a creepy chuckle on the other line and Maria was about to ask what was going on. "H-hey, Ria, I got to go. Bye." Jasmine hung up and Maria's frown deepened. That was odd. She knew Jasmine and she only got freaked out like that when something _really _weird happened. And who was that laughing? Something was going on and Maria didn't like it.

.

Jasmine and Tobi were walking through the store, looking for the items indicated on the list. Well, Jasmine was walking, Tobi was skipping happily. Jasmine almost lost it when the masked man bumped into an innocent passerby for the umpteenth time. She facepalmed.

"Please, Tobi. Can you at least try to calm down?" She asked, exhasperated. Tobi giggled.

"But I don't wanna calm down, Jasmine." Jasmine froze. He didn't speak in third person and he didn't call her Flower-chan. Tobi turned around to face her.

"What's wrong, Jasmine?" He asked walking over to her. His voice was different. It wasn't the cute voice he usually used. It was... scary. The red head stayed glued to the spot, even when Tobi walked over and placed his hand on her shoulder. "You couldn't possibly think that I really am an imbicle?" He asked with a chuckle. Jasmine gulped.

"I- I knew that you weren't who you said you were. I just... didn't think you would be so scary." She said quietly. Tobi smirked under his mask.

"I think you're the only person I will tell about this. And I don't want you to tell anyone else." Jasmine looked at the eyehole and saw the swirling of some type of Sharingan. One she's never seen before. Then, she found she couldn't look away and Tobi's chuckling got louder. When she was finally able to tear her eyes away from the blood red eye, she was looking into darkness. surrounded by pitch black. She paniced.

'Tsukuyomi?' She thought. She's only ever seen Itachi's but she was sure that's what it was. She gulped audiblely when he leaned to whisper in her ear.

"Does Flower-chan promise not to tell Tobi's little secret?" He asked, his voice teasingly childish. Jasmine nodded quickly.

"I- I promise..." She said as she clenched her eyes shut, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She knew very well what Sharingan could do and she was definitely not going to blab and end up getting Amaterasu-ed to the ground because of it. Tobi chuckled again.

"Good." He pulled back and realesed the jutsu. She almost fell if it weren't for the shelf behind her. Just then her phone rang. She hesitated before answering.

"Hello...?" She asked timidly, wincing when she did. She knew that Maria was going to get worried if she didn't sound normal. And sure enough.

"Hey, are you okay?" Came Maria's worried tone. Tobi made a signal for Jasmine to put the phone on speaker. She did.

"Uh, yeah. Everything's cool. What's up?" She asked, turning away when she saw the Sharingan swirl behind the orange mask.

"Kisame ate all the hamburger meat, so add that to the list." She said annoyed. Jasmine spun around the other way when Tobi stepped in front of her again. She tried to laugh and was about to turn around again but Tobi caught her by the shoulders. She hardly contained the wimper that threatened to escape.

"S-sure. Sounds good." Tobi chuckled and Jasmine knew it was loud enough for Maria to hear. "H-hey, Ria, I got to go. Bye." Jasmine hung up before Maria could say anything. Jasmine wanted to glare at the man before her, but knew it wasn't a smart move. "Why did you decide to tell me, of all people?" She asked as she pushed the basket toward the wall of meat that lined one end of the store. Tobi calmly walked up behind her.

"Simply because you seem easiest to break. You're so fun and easy-going." He picked at his nails, reminding Jasmine of something from a movie she saw. "I feel like you have something to hide." He looked her in the eye for a brief second but the red head quickly looked away in favor of looking at the large assortment of meats. Tobi chuckled. Jasmine scowled.

"If I did have something to hide, I definetly wouldn't tell you." She picked up a particularly large roll of hamburger meat and resisted the urge to put it at her crotch and pretend it's a humongous phallus. She sighed and threw it in her basket, her day officaily ruined if she couldn't make a decent penis joke.

"Hn. That doesn't mean I can't try." He said boredly. Jasmine sucked on her teeth and walked past him, looking at the list she had. She looked up when she heard her name being called. Deidara was walking towards her. He was no longer transformed.

"Hey, why do you look normal?" She asked when he was close enough. Deidara looked behind him curiously but shrugged when he saw nothing. Tobi tilted his head in question.

"Only Tobi is supose to be normal, Sempai!" Jasmine cringed at how good this man was at acting. Deidara ignored Tobi.

"I don't want to waste my chakra in case we have a run-in with Orochimaru, un." He said. He lifted his hands. "But don't worry, I got rid of these." Jasmine nodded at the mouthless palms. There was a laugh off to the side and all three looked over to see a tannish girl with waist length black and red hair, wearing a loose fitting shirt and pants. She was looking at the small group with interest.

"Uh, hi...?" Jasmine said timidly. The girl just nodded and pointed to Deidara.

"I like how you don't say 'un' after every sentence." She observed. "Saying it too much just ruins the character. And, you're actually a dude! That's cool. I've noticed that a lot of guys can't capture Deidara's she-male appearence. You seem to be doing that almost perfectly!" She said, tilting her head to the side. Jasmine tried not to laugh as the blond's eye twitched. She snorted when she failed epically.

"You see, I was thinking the same thing!" She said with a hand on her chin. Deidara shot her a look that clearly stated 'Say one more thing like that, and I'll blow you up, un.' Jasmine smirked and looked at the girl across from her. "So what's your name? I'm Jasmine!" She said happily, holding out her hand for the other to shake.

"Aziza." She said taking the hand politely. Jasmine tilted her head.

"Cool name. Well as you know, this is Deidara and Tobi!" She said laughing, pointing to the two men behind her. Aziza smiled.

"Of course." She said waving to them. Tobi returning the wave enthusiasticly and Deidara ignoring her, huffing and crossing his arms. Jasmine laughed and signaled Deidara to come over to her. He reluctantly walked over.

"So what did you come over to tell me?" She asked him. Aziza went to Tobi to talk about whatever. Jasmine heard a hint of his real voice at times during the conversation, though it was innocent enough. In fact, now that she thought about it, she was always able to hear a little of his real voice. She shook her head slightly to clear her thoughts when Deidara started to talk.

"I was going to tell you that Kakuzu and Hidan are done getting the things on their lists. The things that were on mine are with them, yeah." He said, he turned around to look behind him. "They were actually suppose to be following me, un... I guess they went off somewhere." Jasmine nodded slowly, looking in the direction that Deidara was looking.

"Sweet bread." She said absently. She ignored the look that Deidara gave her and looked to Aziza who was still talking to Tobi. "Hey, me and my guys gotta go." Aziza turned around and nodded.

"Okay. But you and your friends seem pretty cool. What's your number?" She asked, pulling out her phone from her pocket. Jasmine smiled and did the same. They exchanged numbers quickly and said goodbyes.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Also, don't worry, there will be more plot in the next chapter<strong>

**Big thanks to yyh-ygo-fma! By the way, I hope we got Aziza's personality pretty good. I was never good with characters that aren't mine and Sheer hasn't had any experience with that. :/**


	10. Chapter 10 Munchkins and Junk Food

**Balooga: Hey! I is teh Balooga!**

**Sheer: And i'm still Sheer. And also sorry about the lack of chapter updates, lots of "things" going on.**

**Balooga: And by "things", she means that both of us were too lazy to write anything...**

**Sheer: Well her "things" were lazyness. Mine we're family and testing.**

**Balooga: :{**

**Sheer: -_- So enjoy the Chapter. **

**Balooga: Oh! We don't own Naruto and sorry for any misspellings!**

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><p>"Honey, I'm home!" Jasmine called loudly as she opened the door with a flourish. It was almost twelve but she knew that Maria wouldn't be sleeping. Her 'pets' walked past her and through the door. She pouted and walked in too. Going upstairs to her room, looking for her friend.<p>

Maria knew her friend was home from the store, long before she called out, since Jasmine had a habit of revving the engine of the car. The raven hair'd girl was in high spirits though, and was in the mood to mess with someone. Winking at the red eyed man beside her she climbed out the room window.

"Sorry. We'll finish this conversation tomorrow." she called, running off to who knows where and leaving Itachi to his thoughts and alone.

.

"Ria!" The red head called out, earning some foul words that came from a certain sliver haired immortal.

"What the hell are you screaming for? Obviously the bitch isn't here!" He yelled from the stairs as he was coming down. "I get into bed, almost asleep, then you fucking decide to wake up the damn house!" Jasmine pouted.

"Then what did they eat?" She asked, ignoring his last sentence. Sasori followed Hidan down the stairs.

"She ordered 'pizza'." He told them both. "And you should be quiet, girl. I'm not used to sleeping and Leader doesn't like to be woken." He said, turning around to go back upstairs but froze when Jasmine started to talk.

Maria smirked from outside the window as Jasmine started to go all stupid from her lack of daily best friend.

"Well where did she go! I come home, looking for her, but no~!" She held up her hands, shaking her head. "I'm not allowed to see her! What? Did she suddenly just... Disappear into thin air! Is she some kind of magical princess monkey eater that eats monkeys and flies away to go to the super awesome Monkey Eater Planet!" She was breathing deeply and pouting the the two men before her. Both were looking at her like she was some kind of alien. Sasori sighed.

"She fed us and went to the Uchiha's room. I don't see why you're so worried." Once again he turned around to walk upstairs and Hidan followed him, both ignoring Jasmine's next outburst.

"Maria Ann Rodriguez! When I find you, you better still be a virgin!" Maria silently laughed when she heard Jasmine's yell as she walked from the house.

.

It was around eight thirty the next day that Jasmine bumped into her friend.

Literally.

"Ow! Jasmine seriously? Hallways are for walking, not standing around and looking lost." Maria shouts, snatching everything she dropped and shoving it back into her black bag. The red head teen pouted. "I was just walking slowly. And why are you in such a hurry? And where did you go, last night. And how did you get back in!" Jasmine asked suspiciously. Sighing, Maria checked her hair to make sure it was perfect, making Jasmine raise her eyebrows. That was something Maria only did when she has to play a part in something.

"I have to pick up the babies, I went home to get more clothes, and Jasmine, I'm pretty sure the whole neighboorhood knows that the rock on your porch is hollowed out to hold a spare key." The older teen answered without skipping a beat. Jasmine nodded slowly but looked at Maria in question.

"It's your week to look after the girls? But what about school?" She asked stupidly. Maria shook her head and patted her friend's shoulder.

"Jazzy, it was officialy winter vacation yesterday after school. We don't go back to that hell hole for a whole three weeks..." She said slowly. Jasmine was about to answer when a shout was heard.

"What the fuck you have kids?" Both girls turned to the source of the voice, one in surprise, the other in annoyance.

"Jasmine slap your pet!" Maria growled, stomping into her boots "I gotta go." The black and red haird girl ran out the door, leaving Hidan to curse at her back and Jasmine to listen to him do so.

.

Maria tapped her foot restlessly, waiting outside for her Aunt to bring out the girls. The last time she left Jasmine alone, she came back to find the fire department there. Now normally that wouldn't matter, but her family has been on rough edges recently and she didn't need any attention on her.

When the door opend, Maria plastered on a smile, hopeing no officials would be there when she got 'home'.

"Hola Tia cómo has estado? Cuándo debo traer a las chicas?"

.

"No I need the brakes for the Toyota." Maria sighed and unlocked the door, walking into the livingroom of Jasmine's house with her cellphone held in the junction of her neck and shoulder.. She continued to the kitchen to see where everyone was at. "The repeair is for the-" The teenager stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening as she took in the scene infront of her. A little more then an hour ago she had left to pick up her cousins, afterwards making a stop at the children's favorite fastfood place to get lunch for everyone. She was cuting people off on the highway just to get home in time before something happened.

Apearently luck wasn't on her side this morning.

There was flour and cake batter covering the kitchen floor, table, and counter. What looked to be a half baked cake was sitting in the sink, melting into the drain. A completely burnt cake somehow made itself familiar with thetop of the refridgerator. In the middle of it, Tobi, Hidan, Deidara, Jasmine, and somehow Itachi, were all standing, caked in flour and grabbed her phone with the hand that she wasn't holding her cousin with and was about to close it.

"Sorry, I'm gonna have to call you later..." She hung up the call and threw the phone behind her, onto the couch in the livingroom. She dropped the bag of McDonalds on the dirtied table.

"Uh-oh." The tiny voice grasped the attention of the Akatsuki, causing them all to turn and glare, completely gauraded. Jasmine smiled. Maria glowered.

"What happened!" She asked, looking straight at Jasmine. The red head shrugged.

"Tobi wanted to bake a cake." She said casually. Maria turned to Itachi questionably.

"How did you get dragged into this?" She asked with less anger in her voice. Itachi looked to the ground for a split second. Maria didn't notice.

"I was the only one who remotely knew how to bake a cake." He said in a monotonous voice. "Jasmine asked me to help." Maria wondered how her friend could have been able to do that on her own, but decided not to ask. Jasmine had her ways. She sighed and decided to show them her cousins.

"This is Hailyn." Maria introduced while steping aside to reveal a child. The young girl was maybe three or four years of age, wavy cocoa brown hair being held down by a black headband and wearing a simple cut off shirt with a giant butterfly image, baby blue tights, and light up black shoes. Maria then guestured to the bundle in her arms with her free hand. "This is Scarlet." Big dark brown eyes peered over the blanket, staring right back at the group of crimanls questionablely.

"Awwww Tobi thinks those babies are adorable! When did Maria-Chan have babies?" the orange maked man screeched as he bounced up to the children and attempted to pick to older one up. Hailyn's eyes got wide when the masked stranger grabbed her, and she did what her Ria always told her to do.

She kicked with all her tiny might.

A high pained chirp escaped Tobi's mouth as he droped to his knees in excrutiating pain. Hailyn giggled, unknowning to what was happening, and ran to Jasmine with her arms up, signaling that she wanted to be picked up. The red was the only other person she knew so she went to her by instinct. Jasmine gladly picked her up in her arms.

"Holy Fuck! She's a minnie you!" Hidan exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the black and red haird teen.

"Oooohhhh! Ria! Bad word! Bad word!" Hailyn acussed, pointing her finger at the sliver haird stranger.

"Shut up brat!" Hidan yelled back.

"Shut don't go up!" The girl yelled, sticking her tounge out. Annoyed, Hidan glared at Maria.

"Your kid's annoying." He said plainly, going upstairs to his temproary room. Sighing she tried to exsplain.

"They arent-" He was cut off.

"You never mentioned haveing children".

The chilled tone caused the girl to flinch, as the glanced at the red eyes staring at her. Just a while ago, they where their normal black color. Jasmine's eyes flickered from the Uchiha and her bestfriend, half amused and half cautious. She knew how much her friend was crushing on the crimnal, and this kid confusion seemed to bother the Uchiha.

Did that mean he liked her Maria? Jasmine pondered that while she and said Maria cleaned the kitchen to make it seem presentable.

Then she proceeded to divide the chicken nugets and fries.

.

"These are your cousins?" Pein asked Maria as he was eating a chicken nugget. Maria nodded, looking at the kids in their highchairs, eating away at some fries. "They know nothing about our world, right?" She nodded again.

"Even if they did, they would think nothing of it." She said, surprising herself with her wording. Something about Pein made her want to talk sophisticaded. Pein nodded once.

"As long as we aren't discovered." He said. He got up from the kitchen table and left to go upstairs. Maria sighed and deflated slightly. She turned to Jasmine who was wolfing down her chicken nuggets and fries, pouring a ketchup packet down her throat to wash it down. Maria scowled.

"can you at least _try _to have manners?" She asked sarcastically. Jasmine shook her head while shoving another five fries in her mouth.

"I haven't eaten all day! You know how much I love McDonald's!" She said without swallowing.

Maria made a face of disgust, "I dont need to have a front row view of your chewed food. Close your mouth." Jasmine smirked.

"tisk tisk you don't chew, you swallow!" Jasmine winked. Hidan choked on his food laughing.

"Ya got that right!" Kisame, who was sitting in the livingroom, guffawed loudly and Itachi, Kakuzu, Sasori, and Maria continued eating sliently while Deidara tried to hide his smirk. Tobi flickered his attention between Jasmine and Hidan.

"Tobi doesn't understand. Why cant you chew?" He questioned. "Why swallow it whole when it's much easier to chew?" Maria banged her head on the table, aggravated. "What did Tobi say?" The masked man asked out loud, watching the older girl bang her head repeatingly. Jasmine smiled widely and scooted the chair closer to Tobi, taking his hand in hers.

"Well, Tobi. There comes a time in every young man's life whe-" Her speech was cut off by Tobi screaming loudly while ccovering his ears.

"NO! DON'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE!" He yelled getting out of his seat and running into the livingroom. Jasmine smirked and shrugged.

"I honestly thought he wouldn't know what I was talking about." She lied, knowing full well the Tobi was just an act. Then there was a high pitched yelp from the livingroom, followed by a bang and a shout of "Watch where you're going!" Jasmine's smirk grew into a grin as she started laughing. Maria sighed and facepalmed.

"Please Jasmine, go shut up your pet." Maria said. Jasmine nodded and looked toward the livingroom.

"Sugar! Shut up!" She said loudly. Maria looked at her with a blank face.

"I could've done that." She said. The red head gave her most innocent smile.

"But you didn't." She got up from the table and picked up a fry to eat it. "I'm gonna go draw. You children have fun now." With that, she left the kitchen to go upstairs to her room.

"But im older then you!" Maria called annoyed, not expecting or reciving a responce.

"Holy crap something stinks!" Maria turned to look at Hidan's scrunched up face and laughed.

"Exactly, Hidan, that is crap." she laughed picking up Scarlet from her high chair.

Everyone in the kitchen migrated towards the living room, siting themselves to watch the t.v and the children.

"Ria! Dora! Dora! Pwease?" Hailyn whined tugging on the girl's pants. Maria set the channle up and turned to the remaining criminals.

"I actually have some errands to run. So im going to need ya'll to watch the kids." She turned to the door, fingering the keys in her pocket. "Dont worry it's easy. Biggest problem is the dippers." With that, she left the house.

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><p><strong>Balooga: So, I hope you liked it! (Even though this chapter was filled with nothing of too much importance)<strong>

**Sheer: Not too important yes, but it makes way for the next chapter. Where Jasmine and Hidan get "closer" ;)**

**Balooga: Whatever. You're just jealous of my sexy beast of a Jashinist!**

**Sheer: Beast, I guess. Sexy, hell no. Te has vuelto loco y delirante!**

**Balooga: Sheer! You know I don't speak foreign! :(**

**Sheer: I said "you just crazy and delusional" and its Spanish don't be so dramatic with the word "foreign".**

**Balooga: `Whatever:P Bye guys! Hope you enjoyed it!**


	11. Chapter 11 Six Flags and Kats

**Hi! Balooga here. Sorry for the late update and the lack of plot in this one. There will definitely be plot and even some drama in the next chapter. Also there is a new OC introduced. Kara belongs to lastlost!**

**To an anonymous reviewer by the name of Corrina: (I'm sure a lot of people are wondering this) In earlier chapters, Jasmine is sometimes referred to as Autumn and Maria as Sera. That is a mistake that we will fix in the future. When we first started writing this, we originally wanted the names to be Autumn and Sera but changed it halfway through. Sorry for any confusion.**

**ENJOY!**

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><p>It was around eight in the morning when Jasmine got up and decided to go annoy her best friend. She rolled over in the bed to face Maria and saw the black and red haird teen facing the oposite way. Jasmine poked her upper back.<p>

"Maria~! Maria, get up~!" She whined loudly. Maria sighed and rolled over to face Jasmine.

"What do you want?" She asked iratably. Jasmine smiled.

"I wanna do something!" Being cooped up in the house had been quite a terrible experience for Jasmine. The only time she got out of the house was when she went to Walmart, and that wasn't very fun for her. She didn't even get to mess with the workers or customers. Maria sighed.

"I guess." She got up from the bed and looked around the room for clothes. "Where do you want to go?" She went to Jasmine's drawer to grab something presentable. The red head shrugged.

"I haven't been to Six Flags in a while. We both have season passes and I know that not all of the Akatsuki will want to come, so we won't have to spend too much money." Maria hesatated for a momment, but nodded in agreement.

"Sure thing. You tell the pets and i'll dress the kids. Wait... Where are they?" Maria looked around. She could have sworn they were sleeping in the bed with her just last night. She looked around the room frantically. Jasmine gasped and jumped off the bed, searching under blankets and under the bed. Just then, there was a shout coming from downstairs.

"Bad! Bad word! 'Idan said bad word!" That was Hailyn and " 'Idan" was most likely Hidan. Both Maria and Jasmine sighed at the same time and made their way out of the room and down the stairs. In the livingroom, Hidan was glaring at Hailyn as she glared right back, holding her little sister in her arms. Maria shook her head as she took in the scene in front of her.

"Baby girl, put Rose down." Hailyn looked up and pouted but did as was told. She dropped Scarlet and with a small thud, the baby landed on her butt. Hailyn pointed to Hidan.

"He said bad word!" She exclaimed and crossed her arms. Maria tsked and turned to the silver haired man.

"No." She said simply and went to pick up Scarlet. "Come on, Hailyn, let's go get dressed." She held out her free hand so the girl could take it and headed upstairs. Hailyn hopped on each step as she went excitedly.

"We go bye bye, Ria?" She asked loudly. Maria laughed and pulled up on Hailyn's arm with each jump to help her.

"Yeah baby girl, we go bye bye." She said lovingly. Hidan gagged and moved into the kitchen.

"Make me some food." He said to Jasmine as he passed her. The red head gasped comically and was about to say something but then her house phone rang. She looked at the wireless device on the wall in the livingroom and raised an eyebrow. Usually, someone would call her cellphone if they wanted to reach her. And her mom and Carlos never gave anyone the house number. Rey didn't even know a house phone existed. Unless it was a bill collector. She scowled and walked toward the phone taking it off the hook, her scowl turned to a smirk.

"Hola?" She asked, trying to sound cluless. Tricking people she didn't like was a fun thing, really. The voice on the other end hesitated.

"Uh... Jasmine?" The voice asked slowly. The red head tilted her head sightly. Remembering that voice.

"Kat?" She asked excitedly.

"Yeah! How's it going?" Jasmine bounced a little and walked into the kitchen to make food. She put the phone between her neck and shoulder and went to her refridgerator.

"Dude, everything's great! What about you? Oh, sorry I couldn't get you my new cell number. I couldn't get ahold of you." She answered, grabbing ham and a carton of eggs.

"It's okay. I'm doing good, by the way. What about Maria? Oh and are you still with that Zoey chick?" Kat asked. Jasmine shook her head even though she knew the other couldn't see her.

"Naw, the bitch cheated on me! Can you believe that? Also, Maria's doing good. She's spending a month at my house, actually. My mom, Rey, and Carlos are visiting my grandma so we're kicking it here." She said as she threw some eggs onto a pan to cook them over easy.

"Why didn't you go with them? Shouldn't you want to see her?" Kat asked, curious as to why someone wouldn't want to see their grandmother. Jasmine sighed and flipped an egg.

"You know how I am with planes, Kara." The girl on the other side of the phone sighed.

"You really need to get over that."

"Shut up." Jasmine pouted for the sake of it and fliped the eggs again. "I'll get over things when people stop making bombs." She said absently while putting the egg on a paper plate. Deidara, who was sitting at the table, glared at Jasmine. The red head stuck her tounge out at him.

"Wow. You really are something." Kat said slowly. Jasmine laughed and dropped four peices of bread into the toaster. Then Maria walked into the kitchen with two little girls. Jasmine waved her friend over.

"Maria! Kara just called!" She said excitedly. Maria gasped.

"Kat!" She ran to Jasmine, grabbing the phone. "Yo, Kitty." She said, going to sit at the table with most of the Akatsuki and her cousins. Jasmine shook her head and went back to cooking. She looked over her shoulder at the criminals.

"When you're done with food, get ready. We're going someplace fun." She said, finishing up the eggs and putting them all on the plate. She got the finished toast and put four more in the toaster. Pein, who was at the head of the table, raised an eyebrow.

"Fun." He said. Jasmine took it as a question.

"Yeah. You don't have to go. Actually, we only really want like, a couple you guys to go with us. Maria's starting to get mad at all the money she's spending." She said grabbing the last of the toast and placing the food on the table. Maria paused in her conversation and glared.

"Dont make me the bad guy. I have bills, you dont." She pointed out. Jasmine rolled her eyes already used to hearing that same line and sat down.

"Yeah, yeah. Well who wants to go with us?" The red head asked everyone.

"Kat's coming with." Maria declared before saying bye and hanging up.

"Tobi wants to go with flower-chan!" The masked man cheered. Hidan grinned.

"Fuck yeah it's been boring as hell." Maria was about to say something having to do with his foul mouth but her cousin beat her to it.

"Bad word!" Hailyn yelled exsasperated, throwing a peice of toast at Hidan's head childishly.

"Damn kid!" The sliver haired man yelled back, taking some eggs in his hand. Maria stared blankly at him, stoping momentarily from feeding the girls.

"I swear Hidan, if you throw those eggs at my baby girl, or they hit little Rose, I'm going to neauter you." She threatened calmly. Muttering some colorful words under his breath, Hidan let the eggs slide onto his plate, and went back to eating. After waiting a minute, Sasori enterupted the newly formed silence.

"I'd also like to go with. I belive it will help me... become accustiomed to this body." He said slowly. Jasmine nodded, a grin spliting across her face.

"Alright time for fun!" She fist pumped the air and ran upstairs to get dressed. Shaking her head, Maria took the dishes to the sink.

"What about you, Itachi?" She questioned indiffrently, not looking up as she began washing the dirty plates.

"We never finished our conversation." Was the reply. Maria bit back a smile.

"No we didn't. So that's a yes?"

"I suppose." Maria looked toward Itachi and smiled at him for a momment, before taking the girls and making her way upstairs to gush with her bestfriend.

* * *

><p><strong>Joo like? Like I said, next chapter shall be juicier!<strong>


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